I don’t know if anybody noticed, but I deactivated my facebook account like a month ago. I can list you many reasons why I did that, but one of it is that, I feel old.

When I was 14, I felt like adult (haha). Not so when I was 15. 16 was cool. 17 was uncool. 18 was pretty good. I mean that’s like most popular (desired) age. Just got legal, perky tits and no care in the world. and you know what’s next.

19, was the new 18. 20, was is pretty exciting and now that I’m GETTING to 21, here’s when it hits me: I’m freaking gonna be 21.

Do you have any idea what this means?

That means I’m gonna be 21!

In Malaysia, you are obligated to vote once you reach 21. That’s just the beginning to all the responsibilities waiting to explode like a time bomb. Yes, responsibilities. and 21 is so near to 25 and to 25 is near 30!

OMG I’M A FREAKING OLD LADY.

*stands naked in the mirror*

ok, I still have my perky boobs. *phew*

You know what, I was kidding. I’m not worried about my physique yet but I feel like I’m mentally aging. I’m kinda suspecting that this has something to do with my relationship with someone 7 years older than me, but it’s not fair to say that he’s making me feel old because certainly he makes me feel a lot younger than I am. However, I do think I absorb some of his matureness.

For example;

1. I’m not as mean as I used to be.

2. I find bitching about other people is pointless and no fun.

3. I don’t go out that often anymore because I prefer to just stay home, watch DVDs or do something productive (whatever you think it is, yeaaah)

4. I found out that during a serious conversation, you’re not supposed to laugh or make jokes. Think: that fucking annoying fat retard in the movie Due Date.

and the worst:

Usually during an event with my fiance, upon saying ‘hi’ to a baby or a toddler, the parents refer to me as… auntie? Ok, fine, that’s because they refer to my fiance as uncle, but doesn’t mean they should refer to me as an auntie too! I mean, I’m practically still a teenager!

So that means I do look old.

That also means I’m probably fat. Hmm… It just goes better with being old.

5. I don’t feel the need to move around in packs. It kinda makes me feel like cows or a bunch of monkeys. Being a lone ranger is a no biggie and I’m cool like that yo.

Hm… that’s about it that I can think of for now. There are more of course but I can’t seem to put it into words. Although, I do feel relatively feel younger when I’m with some boring bunch of 20-something oldies like some wives who only talk about their pooping babies. During those times, I find it a lot fascinating to watch an ant die or break a new Ninjump’s highscore on my iPod, a godsent portable boredom remedy. Well, actually it’s a gift from my fiance. hahah.

Okay, back to Facebook. You know, I get friend requests everyday and I’m not like a retard approving everybody, especially not those middle eastern guys looking for a wife, no offense. Or, those girls.

Speaking of which, really, what’s up with those high school girls who are adding me on facebook? First, I don’t freaking know them. They are probably juniors in high school and to be honest, I was so into myself that I don’t know 98% of my juniors. Some are even 5, 6 years younger than me, how the hell they found out about me, I don’t know but they did.

And second, I’m not somekind of some shit older ‘sister’ they can refer to. Fuck off, I don’t know anything about college. Mine’s pretty shitty and chances theirs gonna be too.

But being the new kind person that I am, I tell them about college anyway and they are so excited about it not knowing what lies ahead of them. ah, everybody wants to see rainbows and unicorns yada, yada, yada.

There are some other things that I get annoyed with like bitches’s war, show off jerks, [pretentious] religious people, and [ugly] people posting wherever they go and pictures partying partaying in a pathetic attempt to make them look fun and outgoing. Not to mention, those girls who are overly PDA, posting love quotes, love letters and badly photoshopped pictures of them and their stupid looking BF! Keep those to yourself la girl. Ingat kau comelz sangat kewwww????

and I have to admit that I’m guilty of stalking other girls on facebook. I’m talking about those pretty, skinny, sometimes younger girls. They make me feel like shit afterwards cause I know where I stand. No wonder why some girls enjoy making fun of ugly girls, it makes them feel a lot better about themselves. Shallow, you may think, but that’s the truth for yah. Girls are insecure creatures.

So yeah, that’s about it. Although the equation of how feeling old made me deactivate my fb account is uncomputable, it makes sense to me.

Wutevaaaa! *pegang dada pandang atas*