Hi, my name is Aisyah Rozi, founder of Imansara.com & webdesigner at Laman7. This is my personal blog where I share my life experience, thoughts, ideas and occasionally, my projects. My passion is designing, sketching and sewing. I'm 24, a babywearing, cloth diapering mama of Sara.
Nov 19 2015

Handling an Agressive Toddler

Sara is 2 years old. 2 years and 19 days to be exact. She’s a well behaved girl with usual cheekiness and curiosity but never a “problematic” one.

A week ago, after our quick gateaway to Pangkor, she caught high fever. The fever went up to 40.3C, Alhamdulillah, she didn’t get febrile fit. Her doctor said she’s older now so her threshold is much higher.

Now, upon recovering, she had been really fussy. Sure, I understand, she’s probably feeling fatigue and still sore from the fever, so we put up with her fussiness and tried to be as gentle as possible.  The thing is her fussiness came with aggressive behavior. She started hitting and kicking both of us. Whenever we try to calm her down, she would hit us even more and cry to leave her alone. I tried telling her gently that hitting hurts mama and abah, but it seemed she chose to ignore it. The best bet we had was to distract her attention by reading her some books.

Being the mother, I knew something is not right, something is bothering her because she is usually gentle. Plus, we don’t believe in hitting.

So I offered her favorite teether several times a day and sometimes she took it. Okay, she has 4 teeth coming out all at the same time, so that’s probably it. We went her grandma’s house so that my mom could give her a massage. My mom said she is having a lot of wind everywhere in her body.

After that, her mood improved significantly, but not entirely.

She was still aggressive whenever she was fussing. If something is not right, she started hitting us. My husband has started to lose his patience but I told him we need to remain gentle until we find out what’s going on with her. I reminded him that this is not her usual behavior so we need to be careful on how we handle it because the last thing we want, is to make it worse.

It baffled us. So I asked around, and everybody around me said it’s because she’s going to get a sibling. While I don’t deny that, I don’t think she fully comprehend what it means to get a sibling. So to say something like that for a 2-year-old is quite simplistic thinking.

There must be deeper, underlying cause.

So, I looked up to google to see what the experts are saying. I was all ready to find a children phycologist to fix the problem. From my finding, it turns out toddlers her age want more independence and power, yet they are limited by their vocabs and capability.

I wanted to test this to see if it’s true.

Yesterday, I was very careful not to force doing her anything that she doesn’t want. I tried to respect her wishes and let her do whatever she wants.  She threw foods around for fun, instead of nagging at her, we showed her how to clean up the mess. She helped a bit and then moved on (something we need to work on). She insisted to watch ipad, I let her watch one song and then we negotiate for other entertainment. Then, she didn’t want to get out of the car, because she is tired and she wants to sleep in her car seat. So, we said we’ll give her a treat (Garret popcorn to be exact, lol) if she’s willing to sleep on the bed.

Guess what?

It worked! She stopped being aggressive altogether! She did fuss a little for milk in the middle of the night, but that’s it. No hitting, no aggressive behavior. She went to bed with no problem, and woke up in a fairly good mood. Alhamdulillah.

Let’s recap how we handled agressive behaviour. 

1. Respond gently. Tell her hitting hurts and it’s not okay. Always remain calm, and if she vocal, ask her what she wants by guessing a few things. She may point or stop crying when you guessed something right. Don’t try to ask a toddler what they want when they are mad, they wouldn’t know how to answer.

2. Be more observant and attentive to her behaviour.  Try to think of any triggers. Is there any changes in her life or daily routine recently? or;

3. Consider where could she have learned such behaviour (daycare, tv shows, etc) and if possible, fix it.

4. Once I think I might know the underlying cause, work towards it.

Parenting is a path of a crazy roller coaster ride. Once we figured things out and everything is okay, things just flip and turn around and leave you hanging again. It is just all the transitions and phases of a child, on top of us trying to keep things together. The key is, like my husband like to remind me, to always celebrate the small victories and worry tomorrow’s problem, tomorrow. At the end of the day, we need to cherish the moment, because our children is not going to be little for long. Sara is a living proof, she is 2 years now and I barely felt the 2 years gone by.

Sara wanted to wear baju kurung instead of her pyjmas. Ok darling, as long as you are not naked.

Nov 12 2015

Introduction to Gentle Birthing

Time has been so hectic, a lot of things has happened and I am just lousy at fitting a time to blog.

Being a working mom, the disadvantage is definitely time. You only have a few hours after work to get your cooking, cleaning and laundry done. On top of that your child needs your attention and Sara being very active, is not the kind of kid that goes to bed easily. So, despite all the bedtime routine, she still needs some work to get her to bed soundly.

Now, I am 29 weeks pregnant (Alhamdulillah). Yep, entering my third trimester now of my second pregnancy. See, how time flies?

I have quite a different pregnancy for this one than my first, Alhamdulillah. If you are wondering, it is another girl. But this this pregnancy is so much easier and smoother. I didn’t have much morning sickness. And emotional wise, quite stable -until entering this 3rd trimester, I have been feeling a little more emotional. Lets save that topic for later shall we?

I have been ignoring the fact that I am pregnant and put off planning the birth a lot later. Then I realized, as I am choosing the hospital that this time around I want to opt for no epidural.

I thought my first labour was wonderful. (my labour entry) I had epidural, I didn’t endure the true pain of childbirth, my daughter came out safely without vacuum or forceps. The nurses were nothing but amazing. However, now looking back, there are a lot of things I would like to improve. Such as, not taking almost an hour to push. I would say the culprit was epidural as I didn’t feel any pain or urge to push, I was pretty much pushing blindly.

Next, perineal tear was horrible. Until now I shudder at thinking about the tear. I ended up with quite significant  tearing since I kept pushing the baby out wrongly.

Now that I have decided to not taking any epidural, I am getting worried about the labour pain. In fact, the fear was giving me nightmares or keeping me awake at night. Yes, it is to be expected. But I am not about to sit around and go through it like going to a marathon without training. I want to be prepared.

Alhamdulillah, out of the blue, I saw a poster on Gentle Birthing seminar on facebook. That’s when I started to read a little on gentle birthing. I am very happy to read wonderful labour stories that are drug-free yet remained smooth. Actually, I think it might be an answer to my prayer.

Having a supportive husband made me feel even luckier. When I asked him to attend the seminar, he immediately suggested to find the gentle birthing classes instead so that we can really learn. That’s when I found out that there are a few gentle birthing method such as Hypnobirth and Amani Birth. I chose Amani as I feel it resonates more to me.


This is the Amani module sent by my chosen educator to me. Originally the class consists of 10 sessions, but I opted for personal coaching and asked for an intensive, compressed sessions into 5 since I’m already in third trimester. I hope I can really benefit from this class  and have the birthing experience I want. It is crucial as it will also affect the postpartum recovery period.

What is Gentle Birthing?

Obviously I am not the best person to explain, but in a nutshell, this is the concept:

Reading the positive birthing experience has inspired me and make me feel more positive towards labour, and now I can’t wait to attend the class! InshaAllah. :mrgreen:

May 07 2015

Keeping the toddler in a carseat

In Malaysia, carseats for children is not a requirement by law. However, Malaysians need to realize that accidents happen. Sure, you’ll never think that you’ll ever get into accidents, we all think that way.

And I bet, those people who did get into a car accidents didn’t think they would, too.

There are many cases in Malaysia where kids and babies are involved in car accidents flew out of the window due to not being buckled into car seats.

Among the excuses are, my child hates it.

Well, so does mine. And we still put her in carseat, despite the screamings.

For small babies, it may be easier. Well, what about toddlers? After many months of struggle, I’ve finally found my answer. So, this is how we figured her out.

1. Consistency is key


The rule is simple. Car = car seat. Every time. No matter how short the trip is.

I admit. We are not perfect parents. Sometimes we slack off and abandon the car seat. At that time, it may seem easier that way, but guess what? Every time we do that, we found it harder to put her in her car seat in the next trip.

Now we know that every time we get in the car, this little one goes into her car seat.

On weekdays, I transfer her car seat into my mum’s car (as she’s taking care of her) so that my mum could take her out safely. You know how our older generations don’t even use car seats right? So make it easy for them.

2. Ignore her fight and buckle up
My daughter would fight hard every time I put her in the car seat. She straightens her body and scream which makes buckling up difficult. I have to work my way through it even if it takes more than a min just to buckle her up.

Then, she will cry and scream as if she’s being abused for a good 2mins.

We just let her cry and I will explain her why she has to be in her car seat. Every time.

However, I’ve noticed the post-buckle crying time gets much less. And less. It eventually became seconds.

Now, She still fight during buckling up but I guess she’s just trying her luck in case I would let her out of the car seat. Then she fusses a lil’ and move on.  Sometimes she still makes fuss mid-trip but that’s where distraction comes in.

The reason behind this is, toddlers are curious little beings. They will always experiment and explore, and that includes parents’ limits. If you keep giving in to their cries, they will know how to make you meet their demands.  Yes, their brains may be little but they are SMART. So, what you can do is show them what’s right and reward their good behaviour.

3. Distraction strategy


Toddlers have short attention span. So, to really get them distracted is to simply figure out what they enjoy.

In my daughter’s case, she loves reading (flipping) books. So we’ll always keep one in the car and make up stories. She enjoys them.

I also give her some random things to play with such as empty plastic bottle, or cups. Sometimes when I ran out of props, I have to play peekaboo with her and it keeps her entertained.

Snacking food is a must. I will give her something to nibble on to buy more time before she’s distracted again. Or to buy more time before I could nurse her.

So there you go. Some tips for those who are struggling.

The funny thing is, sometimes my daughter will still try to trick me into taking her out. She would tell me that she had pooped when there’s no poop (lol). Or she will ask to nurse. I know she’s just tricking me cause when I actually offer her, she would jump and start exploring the car. So of course I’ll have to put her back into her car seat and resume driving.

Well, best of luck! As parents, we all want the best for pur kids right?

Apr 21 2015

How having a kid will put you into perspective

I’ve read a lot of articles saying that having kids will put life into perspective. But I haven’t read on HOW can a kid do that to you.

Well, here is how my daughter, Sara, put my life on perspective.

1. She gives my life a new meaning
I now almost cannot imagine what life was before I had her. Sure, I remember my husband and I went out on dates and all but compared to now, our dates must have been so bland.

When I thought of my life as a single, I felt like back then, my life was meaningless. It was all about studying, having fun and enjoying ‘life’.

What “life”? Lol


2. I now truly know what love means
Yes, I love my husband but I thought that was just it. My family, my husband and my close friends are the people I will only able to love.

Once I had Sara, now I REALLY know what love is. How big my heart actually is.

3. Busy busy busy
Once I have a child, I now absolutely know the what busy actually means. And I would cringe when singles complain “I have no time.”

Well, be a mom and you will know what “no time” is! At the very least, after a very very long and busy day, they can still take a long shower and a cup of tea before bed. Perhaps some house chores to attend.

Yet, a mom who had an equally tiring and busy day, will still have house chores to do, ON TOP OF taking care of her child. Feed them, change them, put them to bed, wake up in the middle of the night and still have to wake up early in the morning the next day. Earlier, let me clarify, to prepare her kids before going to work.

Am I doomed? No. The key is organization and focus. Sure, I might not get everything done in a day, but one thing is better than nothing. There are supermoms out there who are raising 5-8kids (or more), and I have highest respect for them. How people able to deal with more than one kid is a mystery to me.

4. Sense of responsibility.
Of course, that seems very obvious. Babies are born absolutely helpless and the fate of a baby is completely at the mercy of his caretaker.

But what I mean is, it makes me more responsible in all aspects. I feel like I want to do good in my career, or if I were to further study, I want to work really hard at it. You know, just an overall sense of responsibility.

Why? Because everyday is a reality. Reality. Reality. Reality. There’s no lazy-series-marathon-in-bed-all-day. Ever. You have a kid to take care of and you have to get your ass off your bed, take a shower and make a breakfast.


5. Everyday is a gift.
This is probably one of the biggest change of perspective. Ever since she was born, I felt like every waking day is a gift and a blessing.

Just looking at her gives me a sense of gratitude to god. Alhamdulillah. She makes me appreciate life. How everyday matters. How lucky I am to have her. I know that she is not mine forever, and Allah is only lending her to me. She will only be a child for this short while and I want to treasure every moment with her.

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