The Malays have a lot of traditions. And one of it being wedding traditions. They are so many traditions, events whatsoever. Part of wedding tradition is the engagement tradition. Unlike the kneel-on-one-knee proposal, the Malay engagement is very much different. There’s a ceremony.

Now, let me clarify that I am not a fan of traditions. I couldn’t care less about the traditions if its nothing related to the requirements of Islam. In Islam, when the guy or the woman agrees when asked to be married, then they’re engaged. So, there are actually people who get engaged without knowing. You can dig more about this yourself.

So, what happens in Malay engagement ceremony? From what I’ve been told, it sounds like a very awkward ceremony, pardon me. The guy’s family and relatives come to the girl’s house where they will have representatives to talk on behalf of each other’s family. This will usually be the uncle or a family friend/ dad’s friend. They are then set the date, the hantaran and mahar. Hantaran is the amount of money for the guy to give to the girl’s family to support the wedding and mahar is the amount of money for the future bride to keep. Mahar is a requirement in Islam, while hantaran is just a tradition. Hantaran is usually at least RM5000 now. Back then, it used to be atleast RM1000. Mahar min is according to states and for Selangor, it’s RM300 which is not a burden at all for most people. Anyway, them talking about the amount of money is already awkward enough.

Then, the girl. The girl will sit at a corner, or a center or in a room where she’ll have a nicely decorated mini dais to sit on, alone obviously. And awkward. I’m not sure what’s the purpose of this but I think it’s pretty much related to the hantaran (gifts) for the engagement. As if we can’t put the gifts on a table. Maybe they want to emphasize that the girl is actually receiving/accepting the gifts? I don’t know. I understand it’s somekind of appreciation for the girl, but let’s face it. It’s not the guy’s side who’s doing the mini dais thing. And if they really want to show that they appreciate the gifts, the girl’s side is already giving back an extra two gifts. and there’s food and warm welcoming. It’s not that I’m a cheapskate but isn’t that already loud and clear? While I perfectly understand the girl wanting to look pretty and all, I don’t understand the girl’s overdressing to an extend it looks like it’s for solemnization. I mean, she’s a future bride for god’s sake not a bride!

After Isya’ prayers at the mosque, my 8 y.o. sis and I dropped by at the nearby convenient store. My sister was pissing me off because she was doing her usual annoying attitude. I wanted to hurry back home but she was so undecided. Then, after she (finally) decided what she was going to have, I went straight to the cashier.

The cashier put everything in the plastic bags. All my breads, chocolates, and milk. Then at the last minute, I added some ice creams.

After that, because I was really rushing home, I grabbed three packs of bread which I thought was mine and put it in my plastic bag, when I was about to pay. Suddenly a guy said,

“I’m sorry, those are mine”

I looked over, and there stood a guy in front of me.

“OH! I’m so sorry” I apologized and quickly took out the breads.

SHIT!

“It’s okay” He chuckled.

I was sooooo embarrased!

First, I was clumsy.

Second, I was wearing my telekung. In case if you’re too slow to catch, clumsy + ugly = bad.

Third, he was cute. Not that I wanted to flirt with him or anything like that. But the fact that you make a fool out of yourself in front of a cute guy, is just plain darn embarrassing. Not that ugly guys dont matter, but… yeah. It’s a girl thing, maybe. hahaha,

I didn’t stop blushing until I finished my M&Ms.

Gosh. I hope I will never stumble upon that guy again. He’d probably remember of me as some random ugly girl, which, I dont think he’d even remember in the first place. Phew!

Anyway, I’m very prone to accidents and embarrassments. So, what the heck.

Ok, now, back to work.

P.s, two posts in a day, huh? What are the odds? :p
So the point is? It was so embarassing. I dont even know if it’s even funny.

The Internet’s been so bonkers. One minute it’s fine, (and really fast) but the next, it’s gone. It’s like when someone gives you your favourite candy and in the midst of enjoying the rich cherry flavour, that person snatches it back before you even get to the bubble gum in the center.

As some of you might already aware of, I like to create things. Though I know I’m not as great as many other hobbyists, I know I’m good to a certain extend. I know that I have taste, but I have yet to express it. I won’t call myself a fashion designer even though I design my own patterns now because I’m not even sure if I’m making clothes or fashion. Fashion are not clothes and vice versa. Fashion is more than just clothes. There’s something about it that makes people very nervous about. Clothes are just something that people wear. There are cute clothes and ugly clothes. And there’s fashion.

Anyway, the thing is, I get demotivated really easily, especially when that criticism comes from people whom I care about, like my mum. I think she doesn’t really know the art of criticism that what she says can be harsh and insulting. Lets say when I try to pitch her my ideas about my projects, she goes to saying something rather negative directly, often short without any explanation. Sure, it does make me take a step back and rethink but mostly, it stirs the impression that maybe I’m just not good enough. I’m already hearing criticism or comments from other people and all I want to hear is a bit of confident boost so that I’ll make something better in that direction.Despite all that, in the end, I still manage to find strength to work my way through it, and kick ass.

Telling my mum about my next garment making project isn’t going to do me any good as she doesn’t see my point of view. I regret the fact that I consulted her and well, it influenced my direction and I was mislead. In the end, I hated the result, thinking I should’ve made it what I wanted it to be in the first place. Sometimes I know what she says is true but I was in denial. I learn things on my own, a self-taught and along the way, sometimes I make mistakes and stumble. But that’s okay, I should allow myself to make mistakes.

So, in short, the lesson learned is:

a) When in doubt, keep it simple.

b) When something doesn’t feel right, it doesnt. Follow your guts. Learn to trust your instincts.

c) Plan ahead, and go for it.

And I think, these three lessons are applicable for many cases.

The reason why I’m writing this is because I made a few clothes over the weeks and I have one that’s unfinished because I really hate it and do not even wish to continue working on it cause I feel like it’s not worth it, (there goes 30 bucks of fabric). One, which I’m not too sure of, I think it looks too androgynous but the fit is great. Another one that I can’t decide whether to hate it or love it because I screwed up the fit and it went off a lil’ bit and I’m just a goddamn perfectionist.

On the bright side, I’ve lost a few kilos (and a bit of boobies) so I enjoy looking at my stripped bod in front of the mirror right now, (except after I had lunch) imagining myself having those hate-it-or-love-it stick figure bods we see on the runway. I know I sound vain, but deep down, aren’t we all?  We just hate to admit it.

p.s, I want to fly to US , buy a whole lot of Aldo shoes and live with them.

Omg these two days.. so fucked up okay.

(haha what an intro. ah, whatever)

You know how people become grumpy, tired or weird when they’re lack of sleep right? Well as for me, I become stupid when I’m lacking sleep. Lack as sleep as in, no sleep at all. Stupid as in my brain becomes so slow in processing and I sometimes can’t connect what people are saying.

Anyway, I had an interim critique last Friday. And since I got mixed up with some submission deadlines, and also headaches, I had to pull an all-nighter the night before. After the presentation, I got home feeling excited because it’s study leave week! yeay! hoho. Then I got so excited to dye my new white shirt. I just got it and thought it was too white for me. So I wanted to dye it pale yellow. I went to the store. And executed the dyeing process in my mum’s RM3k cookware. I was kinda afraid that my mum would scold me for ruining her kitchen cookware and utensils like what happened in some of my previous projects but that’s beside the story.

So, after I happily dyed the shirt for THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE. EVER. (mind you it’s a new dress),

the shirt turned out to be…

OMAIGAAAATZZZZZ FUCKING YELLOW!

Ok, here’s what happened. I dissolved the dye in boiling water. Next, I added salt and a bit more water, exceeding the recommended portion. Then, instead of putting in a test fabric, which I had already prepared, I accidentally tossed in the shirt into the pot! I panicked, so I quickly took the shirt out, added a bit more water. But I didn’t add much cause I was afraid if the color wont turn out even. So I put the shirt back in and prayed. No, actually I simmered for 20 minutes.

Then I thought. oh, how yellow could it be? Then zomaigod, to my surprise… GAH!

LIKE A  CLASSIC RAINCOAT OKAY!

So,here’s what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna bleach it or maybe use pre-dye to turn the colour pale. But it seems like, using a pre-dye is probably safer for the fabric.

Now, let’s move on to next story.