These past few days, has been slow. Didn’t go out anywhere much, except for house inspections. Yeap, I’m still homeless here. Haha. It’s kinda stressful with classes starting soon. Pretty sure we’re gonna get a good one. Just staying positive, you know.

It’s kinda fun here, I’m adapting well, I guess. I don’t feel any kind of culture shock or whatsoever. The only thing, though, I’ve been missing my husband a lot. I feel fine when everyone’s at home, and we always have each other to talk to, but on some days, it’s kinda boring, and that’s when the feelings start to creep in.

Sometimes I can push it away, and be indenial, but sometimes, it’s unavoidable. I can feel it’s building up inside if I don’t let it go, and the only way I know how is by crying, or talking to my husband over the skype. But it’s never enough. It’s tough. With the difference in time, and it’s hard to arrange a good timing that works for both of us.

All I need to know is how he’s doing. I want to know his day, what he’s been up to, what’s he feeling and all that, just because I want to feel close to him. Gosh, I just miss talking to him, or doing anything random and crazy. I miss his jokes. I miss his hugs. I miss his teases. I miss everything about him. And every night I dream about seeing him, it makes it hard for me to get out of bed and face reality.

I can’t wait for him to visit in May. I wish he could come right now. Hell, I wish he could come here and stay.

I was so nervous as I walked down the stairs to the living room where all the families & guests were. My dad, tok kadi and my then fiancé were in the middle of the room. I sat down at the corner with my beautiful closest friends and watched my then fiancé closely, almost unbelieving. 10th September 2011, marked the day I became a wife, barely a month after my 21st birthday.

20 years old and I already made the biggest decision in my life; to get married. Everybody kept telling me that I’m too young. I had no idea what to expect and how it was going to change my life. For sure, I knew it will change my life a way or another.

After we got engaged, my life went upside down. Our relationship changed, and it was the hardest time of my life. We stumble, we fell, and we fought, hard, most of the time. And I was having inner conflicts with my decision whether or not to go on with the decision. My biggest conflicts were; How? Who? & What?
1. How is this decision gonna change my life;
2. Is he the right person, and;
3. Will I be happy?

He was lost, too. I knew because he became different, and that worsened my doubts but I guess so was I. Throughout the end, we finally burst and  at the edge of breaking up. At that time I thought we were over.

But, I had faith in us, and we’d find ourselves back. And we did. Just two weeks before the wedding, I got him back. I could tell that he knew he got me back.

As he accepted the solemnization, I felt this deep feeling like a kind of happiness I had never felt before. I looked at him like I had never looked at him before. Then, I realized that I found peace within myself. All the doubts and conflicts I had before just went away.

Now, we are savouring each other’s presence. Going to bed and waking up to each other everyday is a bliss. There, my happiest moment in my life was the very moment I became his wife. Surely, this beautiful moment will be cherished forever, thanks to technology.

I was digging through the piles of boxes, looking for a box to put my studio materials. The store area under the stairs where dark and full of spider webs. Small ones big ones, ugly ones, naah.  Then I saw just the perfect box. I tried to reach it with my hands but I couldnt. So I stretched my left leg and tried to take it out using my feet.

Then I felt a tiny mass crawling on my ankle and down to my foot. It’s a spider, I can feel it. A pretty big one. I was so stunned I was afraid to even move. And then, the spider slowly, injected its venom into my foot. I panicked but still couldn’t dare to move my left foot. I was raging, my right leg already kicking. I wanted to get out of here.

“B, there’s a spider! There’s a spider!” I screamed and cried while tapping the floor with my hands and kicking my right leg. My left foot remained still. I could still feel the spider. Eddie came to me and asked what wrong. “There’s a spider, there! My foot! spider, foot!” I pointed. I was crying out of panic. I thought the spider was going to kill me. and then, he said, “Honey, there’s no spider under the blanket,”

I couldn’t believe what he said and started crying louder. He got up to my legs, and swept everything off my legs. “It’s my foot! Left foot!” I screamed.

“Honey, there’s no spider. See, it’s nothing. No spider. Don’t cry, okay?” I opened my eyes and saw that he pushed the blanket to the floor and no spider. I moved my left leg and I felt nothing. Immediately, I stopped crying as I realized it was just a dream. He then pulled the blanket back up, hugged me and we both went back to sleep.

So I’m back. After all those years. and guess what? I’m married!!!!!!!!! haha. okay, I’m sure if you follow my blog u’d already know that.

Now, let’s see what happened to me. Or my blog. Not necessarily in order.

#1 layout change, obviously.
The previous layout I had for centuries made me puke a few times so I had to change it to get my blogging mojo back. Well, I did not design this layout. I upgraded to wordpress 3.2, downloaded the theme and installed it. Made a quick header and that’s it.

#2 I got married