I saw a friend’s post on facebook today complaining that he was annoyed with the typical “dah ada isi ke belum?” or “bila nak ada anak?” which striked me to do this post. This is a typical scenario experienced by all newlyweds.

I got married about a month after I turned 21 (in 2011). Such a young age in today’s world. I too was  bombarded with those typical questions usually by makcik-makcik.  However, after I told them that I was gonna pursue my final year degree first, most of them asked me “when are you gonna have kids, then? Jangan tangguh lama-lama”. I usually just fake a smile and try not to show that I was annoyed.

Here’s the thing.

I don’t believe that having kids is the first thing you should do after getting married. No one should be pressured to do it if that’s not what they want. Some people (like my husband and I) prefer to enjoy our time alone and get to know each other first, adapt to each other before having an addition to the family. Of course this is purely subjective to everyone.

Some people believe that having a baby will be ‘pengikat kasih’. 

Personally, I beg to differ. I feel like if you were to love your spouse, love him/her for who they are, and not because he/she is the father/mother of your child. What I’m saying is, that should not be the basis of your love. If you are the lucky ones, over time you will come to love each other because of each other. Some, will be quite the opposite, God forbid. Of course, best if you can love your spouse for Allah. But let’s face it, not everyone know how to do that.

Seriously, go have fun with your partner. Get to know each other first. Fall in love. Then have kids.

Now, let’s move on to our main point, family & peer pressure. 

This can be tricky to deal with, especially if you are sensitive by nature. The pressure from people around you to have kids can be overwhelming.  The worst people who can give you the pressure are your in-laws and perhaps your own parents. There is no avoiding this. The difference is how great the pressure is. Mine wasn’t bad at all. The only one who pressured was my own mum and it was annoying enough, no thank you. Hahaha. The best way to deal with this is (not quite simply) to ignore it.

It can be hard to ignore, and having an understanding husband is crucial. Even if you both want children, you should not feel the pressure to do so. Here’s why: if you are stressed, you are less likely to ovulate. If you don’t believe me, google it, or ask a doctor. Not to mention, it can rip the joys of being newly married or trying to get pregnant out of you.

If you are not ready for kids, try to dodge the question or try to be patient and say “InsyaAllah bila ada rezeki“. Usually that will shut them up.

It’s really hard being away from my husband. Everyday I have a hard time waking up, knowing I don’t have the purpose to get through the day. Everyday to me is a survival.

The highlight of my day is when I get to talk to my husband. And we try to be strong for each other.

Being apart is not entirely a bad thing. It has brought our marriage to the next level. We become closer to each other, and know that we can never take each other for granted, not even a day.

Had we not spend out time apart, I may not have this kind of appreciation of him. Before this, I know he makes me happy. But after being apart, now I really know how HAPPY he makes me feel. I also realized that without him, a huge part of me is missing.

He is, afterall, my better half.

at Universal Studios Singapore. Hot and sweaty. Ah, summertime.

Today’s weather is 25 degrees hot. It makes me so happy. That means spring is passing, and it’s time for summer to come and brighten the southern hemisphere with joy.

Summer in December. I’ll be the happiest girl. :joytears:

See you there, my dearest.

P.s, Sorry about the last post. Anger took its troll over me.

I was so nervous as I walked down the stairs to the living room where all the families & guests were. My dad, tok kadi and my then fiancé were in the middle of the room. I sat down at the corner with my beautiful closest friends and watched my then fiancé closely, almost unbelieving. 10th September 2011, marked the day I became a wife, barely a month after my 21st birthday.

20 years old and I already made the biggest decision in my life; to get married. Everybody kept telling me that I’m too young. I had no idea what to expect and how it was going to change my life. For sure, I knew it will change my life a way or another.

After we got engaged, my life went upside down. Our relationship changed, and it was the hardest time of my life. We stumble, we fell, and we fought, hard, most of the time. And I was having inner conflicts with my decision whether or not to go on with the decision. My biggest conflicts were; How? Who? & What?
1. How is this decision gonna change my life;
2. Is he the right person, and;
3. Will I be happy?

He was lost, too. I knew because he became different, and that worsened my doubts but I guess so was I. Throughout the end, we finally burst and  at the edge of breaking up. At that time I thought we were over.

But, I had faith in us, and we’d find ourselves back. And we did. Just two weeks before the wedding, I got him back. I could tell that he knew he got me back.

As he accepted the solemnization, I felt this deep feeling like a kind of happiness I had never felt before. I looked at him like I had never looked at him before. Then, I realized that I found peace within myself. All the doubts and conflicts I had before just went away.

Now, we are savouring each other’s presence. Going to bed and waking up to each other everyday is a bliss. There, my happiest moment in my life was the very moment I became his wife. Surely, this beautiful moment will be cherished forever, thanks to technology.