On 3rd of August we were shocked by the lost child, Wan Aisyah. According to sources, the mother handed over her own child to her so-called fiance who then disappeared on her. The social media was really helpful in spreading the news and pictures using hashtag #findAisyah.

Among the images that was spread in social media #findAisyah

Of course, to everyone’s relieve, she was found well and alive, Alhamdulillah.

Although, I can’t help but wonder why did this happen.

Let’s recap on what happened. According to the report,

1. On 30th July, 2013 @ 3.20pm the mother, Pn. Arbaiyah gave her daughter, Wan Aisyah to his fiance, Mohd Faisal bin Ibrahim at EON Jusco Rawang.
2. She also gave her daughter’s documents to him.
3. The reason why she gave her daughter, is that she believed that Mohd Faisal was going to introduce her daughter to his sister who lives in Damansara.
4. The mother claimed that Mohd Faisal was going to marry her after this Eid-ul Fitr.
5. They met on facebook and had only met for 4 times and they got engagged.

This one event already raised suspicious question on why would a mother let her daughter to be taken away from her. Rawang and Damansara are not exactly side-by-side. And, even if Mohd Faisal wanted to introduce the girl to his sister, why didn’t he bring Arbaiyah also since they were gonna get married?

To make it even more suspicious, the mother gave Wan Aisyah’s documents to Mohd Faisal.

Following the event,

1. on 2rd of August, at 8:00am, they met again at Jusco Rawang and she gave him RM25,000 to help him startup his gold business. However, Wan Aisyah was not with him.
2. When Arbaiyah asked her fiance the whereabout of her daughter, she was told Wan Aisyah was with his sister.
3. The next day (3rd Aug), she waited for Mohd Faisal to pick her up at her own house and he never showed up.
4. So she went to his house and apparently the address was a fake address and the house is someone else’s.

By this time, she knew she was conned and went ahead to make the police report.

Big, big question mark.

Why did she give her daughter with her documents? 

and why did she even give RM25,000 to someone? 

We don’t know what happened, but it’s either she’s too trusting or she was possibly hypnotised.

I’ve read these kind of things in newspapers way too many times where a girl gave money to a guy because he promised to marry her. and the next thing she knew, that guy is a goner along with her money. It is very fotunate that in this case, Wan Aisyah was found well and alive, Alhamdulillah.

However, we must ensure that this case will be the last of its kind.

Seriously, ladies. WHY? Why? Why? Why?

I understand that sometimes ladies can be a bit desperate to get married, perhaps due to age factor or need for security. However, we must always be careful in finding the right guy. If it is a little too good to be true, it probably is. A lot of the cases where the ladies got cheated is when they meet the guy online.

So, in effort to help girls avoid being conned, let me suggest a few precautions.

Ladies’ guide: How to avoid getting conned by men.

1. NEVER meet him alone for the first few meetings.
Do not meet him alone. Never do that. Let me repeat. Do not see him alone. DO NOT. Please, do NOT do that.  The reason is simple, you don’t want to be kidnapped or have anything bad happen to you. You might get hypnotised into emptying your bank account to him.

Trust me, it may not be romantic, but it is safer that way. I met my husband online and the first time I met him, we were not alone. I’m serious.

If you’re concerned about privacy, bring two friends and have them sit in the same restaurant at a different table. (Wait, you are meeting him at a restaurant, right? Where there are people and witnesses?) Let your friends follow you in case you were being hypnotised into going somewhere else.  Which brings us to the next point;

2. Meet him at a place where YOU are familiar with.
It doesn’t matter if it’s 2 hours drive for him to get there. Never meet him at a place you’re not familiar with. In that place, make sure you know where to park and how to get around within the area. Do not EVER let him lead you to the place.

If you’re familiar with Restaurant A, for example, just meet up there. Don’t meet up at odd places. The idea is to have as much control as possible. You don’t want to give him the chance to take advantage over you.

So what if it’s a hassle for him? If he’s genuinely into you, he wouldn’t mind. If that stops him, so be it. Maybe he’s not that into you. Don’t be so desperate, you are beautiful and the right one will come along.

3. If he asks for money, WALK AWAY.
Seriously, I don’t know a good man who would ask for money. Let’s say it’s reversed. Would you ask for money to a guy you barely know?

So, if he asks for money, WALK AWAY. Do not contact him again. He shouldn’t be asking for YOUR money. If you are not even married, and he’s already asking for money, what do you think he will ask once he marries you? (assuming that he will).  Do not give the guy the money, even if you’re so rich, RM10,000 is nothing for you. Your life will not be happy with this kind of man. He’ll just take advantage over you. Over and over again.

4. If the guy proposes, insist his family to meet yours
This might seem petty to some, but it is very important that his family meet your family. Sure, you might be thinking that you don’t need your parent’s approval blah blah blah, but isn’t it worse knowing that he is a con artist? Your parents don’t have to agree on anything, but they should atleast meet and get to know his family.

If he brings his family to meet your family, chances are, he’s legit. Even if he’s not, you can spot the inconsistencies. It’s harder to lie when you have to rely on other people.

5. Meet his friends
One  friend does not cut it. You have to meet a few of his friends, a bunch if you will. This way, you can also gauge what kind of person he is. Usually, a person does not become friends with people who are not their kind. Are his friends nice? Are they well-mannered? What do they do for a living?

Of course, in this regard, refer to guide #1 & #2.

6. If you have a child, never ever, EVER give anyone your child
Even if you trust this person, he might not seem who it is. Only trust your child with family BY BLOOD or your bestfriend. Never friends you barely know, or your 1 month fiance. That’s just wrong.

Get that in your head ladies, and repeat after me, “I will not entrust my child with anyone except family by blood or my bestfriend whom I know his/her family, and permanent address”

7. Last but not least, have some confidence.
This is one of the main reason a lot of girls are easily manipulated. They don’t have enough self-esteem. Don’t get swooned at compliments a guy may give you. You are beautiful the way you are, and you don’t need anyone to tell you that. Don’t hang on to a guy just because you think you may not find another guy who would like you.

If you suspect something, stop being in denial. Your instinct is probably true. Walk away, pray, live your life happily and the universe will work its magic on you.

My last piece of advice: Don’t fall for a sweet talker. Go for a man of action.