A couple of weeks ago, I was breastfeeding on a lounge chair in a mall. Coincidentally, the baby room was just a few steps ahead. Then came a mom from the baby room, and she told me to use the nursing room as it was empty. I told her, “no thank you, I’m good”. Actually I feel sorry for moms who rely on nursing rooms because I know it’s not the most convenient thing. In fact, I stay away from nursing room.  Here’s why.

1. It smells like diaper change. People constantly coming in and out changing their babies. Of course it smells like baby’s stools.
2. It’s usually small and lonely (I don’t think my husband enjoys accompanying me because of the diaper smell).
3. Most of all, I hate having to feel like I’m hiding to feed my baby. I’d like to feel free feeding my baby wherever I please, thank you very much.

When I first went out in public, I was terrified and insecure about breastfeeding in public. We started bringing her out at 3 weeks. At first I was self-conscious about nursing in public (NIP). I had to run to the nursing room to feed her and even at the most familiar mall, I still didn’t know where the baby room was because I never noticed it before!

A week before I had the guts to go out, I practiced nursing my baby in the nursing cover, she was barely 3 weeks old then. The practice was for me, and for her to get used to. Luckily she’s not a fussy baby and she doesn’t mind being in the nursing cover at all. However, even then, I still didn’t have the guts to NIP during our first outing. Either I resort to rely on nursing room or pack expressed breast milk (EBM) and hot water. Packing EBM is such a hassle, do you know how heavy those icepacks are?

Finally, I gathered my guts and breastfed in public for the first time at Subang Parade when I was out with my sister. Then, slowly I started feeling confident. Next thing I knew I was breastfeeding her everywhere. In Ikea, The Mines, in restaurants, whenever, wherever as long as there’s a seat. So all it took was practice! and the right gear.

Me, nursing Sara at Wangsa Walk, KL. More on this nursing cover here.

Here’s some tips on NIP (based on MY personal experience)

1. Get the right gears to breastfeed discreetly. Nursing wear, or breastfeeding-friendly wear will certainly make it easier. For added privacy, get a nursing cover.

2. Be aware of the feeding time and your baby’s early cues. Screaming baby attracts attention, and may make NIP difficult. So, as soon as you see the cues, find a place to NIP.

3. It’s all about mentality. If formula-fed babies can feed in public, breastfed babies should get the same rights. Try to think of it as advocating breastfeeding in this world where formula feeding is becoming the norm. Actually, you should feel blessed to be able to give the best for your baby!

4. Don’t hesitate to ask for help. You’ll be surprised how accommodating people can be when it comes to nursing your baby.

Once, I needed to NIP when I was at a department store, and there was nowhere to sit. Not even outside the store. So I just asked one of the staff for a chair, and they kindly grabbed a stool for me and I nursed her right there, at one of the aisles like nobody’s business. Cool ey?

There was also this one time when I was at a mall with Sara alone, I saw a row of lounge chairs but not one was available. There were several elderly and then I saw one healthy able guy. So I politely asked him to give up his seat so that I can nurse Sara. Fortunately he respected my request and kindly gave up his seat. The point is, you can have faith in people and hope they’ll be nice to you. 😀

Another reason to NIP? Convenience. Baby’s hungry? Sure, just find a seat, pop up my nursing cover and within 20 minutes, she’s done. Compared to bottle feeding, I have to mix the formula with water or heat up the expressed breast milk and while all that, try to calm the hungry baby. Oh, that’s just too much trouble for me, especially having to pack so much! Bottles, water, hot water, the milk. What if I forget one thing??

With NIP, I only have to pack for her diaper change and I’m all set. I find NIP is very empowering. I love it! It’s a win-win for me and Sara. She gets to feed on cue, and I get to have my freedom. Sure, it slows me down a bit, but hey, it’s just 20mins every 2 hours. I might as well catch up on instagram or just have a chat with my husband while I’m at it.

Next up, learning how to NIP on-the-go!

I don’t always take the time to review something. This post is long due. Caring for a baby is a lot of work. Who knew something so tiny could take up so much of your time! If I knew, I would just get a hamster.

Just kidding.

Anyway, prior to Sara’s arrival, I did not get a pump because I’m currently SAHM and I thought I did not need it.  Little did I know that on the fourth night after Sara’s arrival, my breasts became so engorged. I tried to hand express with help from youtube (haha) but I still could’t get anything out. Perhaps my milk duct was clogged. Then I was desperate for a breast pump. It was nine o’clock at night and all nearby baby stores were closed.

Eddie was all ready to buy Medela manual pump. But I thought RM199 is a lil’ steep, what more to buy something out of desperation. So I started to ask around for a cheaper alternative. Eddie made some reasearch that night and he found Unimom Mezzo. I found out that it’s recommended by lactation consultant at Susuibu.com and it’s only RM100. I gave the thumbs up and the next morning, Eddie immediately went to OneBabyWorld Seksyen 13, Shah Alam.

About two hours later, I got my pump.

On first impression, I thought it was so pretty. The packaging, the pump itself, and it’s pink! Major plus. Hahah.

(sorry, no picture of my own because I always forget to take a picture of the pump before I use it! *slapface*)

I happily unboxed the packaging and started reading the manual. Eddie  then washed and sterilized the parts and I began my first pump. Within 6 minutes, I was done pumping for one breast and about less than 15 minutes total. At first it felt awkward but it certainly did not hurt, if not comfortable. My engorgement was relieved and I was happy.

After some time, I got used to it, and it’s becoming less awkward and more comfortable. I’ve had multiple let downs with this one.

So far, the performance is great. The ergonomic, long handle makes it easy to pump. However, I find it rather tiring to pump with one hand after a few minutes. It’s a lot easier to pump with two hands. I guess that’s the only downside. Anyway, I rarely find myself needing to pump more than 10 minutes on each breast. Perhaps I’m lazy. If you pump occasionally (around 2 times a day) this shouldn’t be a big problem. Personally, if you pump 3 times or more a day, then I suggest better get electric pump.

The maintenance is so easy. There are no small parts to deal with. It’s so easy to wash and assemble. After sterilizing, I just hang the parts on the rack to dry. This Treenie drying rack was sent by Babywinks.com.my. Thanks Babywinks!

Value for money: definitely worth it. It’s so affordable yet high quality. I’m happy to see for once, it’s not made in China. It’s a Korean brand and made in Korea.

Now, after a month and a half using it, I have to say I am one happy Unimom user. If you’re looking for a manual pump, I highly recommend this one. Honestly I did not expect to get so much milk out of a manual pump. but with this one, I’m able to express so much milk. When I need to pump more frequently later in the future, I would totally get the Unimom electric pump, I just have so much trust with this brand now!

On 3rd of August we were shocked by the lost child, Wan Aisyah. According to sources, the mother handed over her own child to her so-called fiance who then disappeared on her. The social media was really helpful in spreading the news and pictures using hashtag #findAisyah.

Among the images that was spread in social media #findAisyah

Of course, to everyone’s relieve, she was found well and alive, Alhamdulillah.

Although, I can’t help but wonder why did this happen.

Let’s recap on what happened. According to the report,

1. On 30th July, 2013 @ 3.20pm the mother, Pn. Arbaiyah gave her daughter, Wan Aisyah to his fiance, Mohd Faisal bin Ibrahim at EON Jusco Rawang.
2. She also gave her daughter’s documents to him.
3. The reason why she gave her daughter, is that she believed that Mohd Faisal was going to introduce her daughter to his sister who lives in Damansara.
4. The mother claimed that Mohd Faisal was going to marry her after this Eid-ul Fitr.
5. They met on facebook and had only met for 4 times and they got engagged.

This one event already raised suspicious question on why would a mother let her daughter to be taken away from her. Rawang and Damansara are not exactly side-by-side. And, even if Mohd Faisal wanted to introduce the girl to his sister, why didn’t he bring Arbaiyah also since they were gonna get married?

To make it even more suspicious, the mother gave Wan Aisyah’s documents to Mohd Faisal.

Following the event,

1. on 2rd of August, at 8:00am, they met again at Jusco Rawang and she gave him RM25,000 to help him startup his gold business. However, Wan Aisyah was not with him.
2. When Arbaiyah asked her fiance the whereabout of her daughter, she was told Wan Aisyah was with his sister.
3. The next day (3rd Aug), she waited for Mohd Faisal to pick her up at her own house and he never showed up.
4. So she went to his house and apparently the address was a fake address and the house is someone else’s.

By this time, she knew she was conned and went ahead to make the police report.

Big, big question mark.

Why did she give her daughter with her documents? 

and why did she even give RM25,000 to someone? 

I saw a friend’s post on facebook today complaining that he was annoyed with the typical “dah ada isi ke belum?” or “bila nak ada anak?” which striked me to do this post. This is a typical scenario experienced by all newlyweds.

I got married about a month after I turned 21 (in 2011). Such a young age in today’s world. I too was  bombarded with those typical questions usually by makcik-makcik.  However, after I told them that I was gonna pursue my final year degree first, most of them asked me “when are you gonna have kids, then? Jangan tangguh lama-lama”. I usually just fake a smile and try not to show that I was annoyed.

Here’s the thing.

I don’t believe that having kids is the first thing you should do after getting married. No one should be pressured to do it if that’s not what they want. Some people (like my husband and I) prefer to enjoy our time alone and get to know each other first, adapt to each other before having an addition to the family. Of course this is purely subjective to everyone.

Some people believe that having a baby will be ‘pengikat kasih’. 

Personally, I beg to differ. I feel like if you were to love your spouse, love him/her for who they are, and not because he/she is the father/mother of your child. What I’m saying is, that should not be the basis of your love. If you are the lucky ones, over time you will come to love each other because of each other. Some, will be quite the opposite, God forbid. Of course, best if you can love your spouse for Allah. But let’s face it, not everyone know how to do that.

Seriously, go have fun with your partner. Get to know each other first. Fall in love. Then have kids.

Now, let’s move on to our main point, family & peer pressure. 

This can be tricky to deal with, especially if you are sensitive by nature. The pressure from people around you to have kids can be overwhelming.  The worst people who can give you the pressure are your in-laws and perhaps your own parents. There is no avoiding this. The difference is how great the pressure is. Mine wasn’t bad at all. The only one who pressured was my own mum and it was annoying enough, no thank you. Hahaha. The best way to deal with this is (not quite simply) to ignore it.

It can be hard to ignore, and having an understanding husband is crucial. Even if you both want children, you should not feel the pressure to do so. Here’s why: if you are stressed, you are less likely to ovulate. If you don’t believe me, google it, or ask a doctor. Not to mention, it can rip the joys of being newly married or trying to get pregnant out of you.

If you are not ready for kids, try to dodge the question or try to be patient and say “InsyaAllah bila ada rezeki“. Usually that will shut them up.