Time has been so hectic, a lot of things has happened and I am just lousy at fitting a time to blog.

Being a working mom, the disadvantage is definitely time. You only have a few hours after work to get your cooking, cleaning and laundry done. On top of that your child needs your attention and Sara being very active, is not the kind of kid that goes to bed easily. So, despite all the bedtime routine, she still needs some work to get her to bed soundly.

Now, I am 29 weeks pregnant (Alhamdulillah). Yep, entering my third trimester now of my second pregnancy. See, how time flies?

I have quite a different pregnancy for this one than my first, Alhamdulillah. If you are wondering, it is another girl. But this this pregnancy is so much easier and smoother. I didn’t have much morning sickness. And emotional wise, quite stable -until entering this 3rd trimester, I have been feeling a little more emotional. Lets save that topic for later shall we?

I have been ignoring the fact that I am pregnant and put off planning the birth a lot later. Then I realized, as I am choosing the hospital that this time around I want to opt for no epidural.

I thought my first labour was wonderful. (my labour entry) I had epidural, I didn’t endure the true pain of childbirth, my daughter came out safely without vacuum or forceps. The nurses were nothing but amazing. However, now looking back, there are a lot of things I would like to improve. Such as, not taking almost an hour to push. I would say the culprit was epidural as I didn’t feel any pain or urge to push, I was pretty much pushing blindly.

Next, perineal tear was horrible. Until now I shudder at thinking about the tear. I ended up with quite significant  tearing since I kept pushing the baby out wrongly.

Now that I have decided to not taking any epidural, I am getting worried about the labour pain. In fact, the fear was giving me nightmares or keeping me awake at night. Yes, it is to be expected. But I am not about to sit around and go through it like going to a marathon without training. I want to be prepared.

Alhamdulillah, out of the blue, I saw a poster on Gentle Birthing seminar on facebook. That’s when I started to read a little on gentle birthing. I am very happy to read wonderful labour stories that are drug-free yet remained smooth. Actually, I think it might be an answer to my prayer.

Having a supportive husband made me feel even luckier. When I asked him to attend the seminar, he immediately suggested to find the gentle birthing classes instead so that we can really learn. That’s when I found out that there are a few gentle birthing method such as Hypnobirth and Amani Birth. I chose Amani as I feel it resonates more to me.

This is the Amani module sent by my chosen educator to me. Originally the class consists of 10 sessions, but I opted for personal coaching and asked for an intensive, compressed sessions into 5 since I’m already in third trimester. I hope I can really benefit from this class  and have the birthing experience I want. It is crucial as it will also affect the postpartum recovery period.

What is Gentle Birthing?

Obviously I am not the best person to explain, but in a nutshell, this is the concept:

Reading the positive birthing experience has inspired me and make me feel more positive towards labour, and now I can’t wait to attend the class! InshaAllah.

In Malaysia, carseats for children is not a requirement by law. However, Malaysians need to realize that accidents happen. Sure, you’ll never think that you’ll ever get into accidents, we all think that way.

And I bet, those people who did get into a car accidents didn’t think they would, too.

There are many cases in Malaysia where kids and babies are involved in car accidents flew out of the window due to not being buckled into car seats.

Among the excuses are, my child hates it.

Well, so does mine. And we still put her in carseat, despite the screamings.

For small babies, it may be easier. Well, what about toddlers? After many months of struggle, I’ve finally found my answer. So, this is how we figured her out.

1. Consistency is key

The rule is simple. Car = car seat. Every time. No matter how short the trip is.

I admit. We are not perfect parents. Sometimes we slack off and abandon the car seat. At that time, it may seem easier that way, but guess what? Every time we do that, we found it harder to put her in her car seat in the next trip.

Now we know that every time we get in the car, this little one goes into her car seat.

On weekdays, I transfer her car seat into my mum’s car (as she’s taking care of her) so that my mum could take her out safely. You know how our older generations don’t even use car seats right? So make it easy for them.

2. Ignore her fight and buckle up
My daughter would fight hard every time I put her in the car seat. She straightens her body and scream which makes buckling up difficult. I have to work my way through it even if it takes more than a min just to buckle her up.

Then, she will cry and scream as if she’s being abused for a good 2mins.

We just let her cry and I will explain her why she has to be in her car seat. Every time.

However, I’ve noticed the post-buckle crying time gets much less. And less. It eventually became seconds.

Now, She still fight during buckling up but I guess she’s just trying her luck in case I would let her out of the car seat. Then she fusses a lil’ and move on.  Sometimes she still makes fuss mid-trip but that’s where distraction comes in.

The reason behind this is, toddlers are curious little beings. They will always experiment and explore, and that includes parents’ limits. If you keep giving in to their cries, they will know how to make you meet their demands.  Yes, their brains may be little but they are SMART. So, what you can do is show them what’s right and reward their good behaviour.

3. Distraction strategy

Toddlers have short attention span. So, to really get them distracted is to simply figure out what they enjoy.

In my daughter’s case, she loves reading (flipping) books. So we’ll always keep one in the car and make up stories. She enjoys them.

I also give her some random things to play with such as empty plastic bottle, or cups. Sometimes when I ran out of props, I have to play peekaboo with her and it keeps her entertained.

Snacking food is a must. I will give her something to nibble on to buy more time before she’s distracted again. Or to buy more time before I could nurse her.

So there you go. Some tips for those who are struggling.

The funny thing is, sometimes my daughter will still try to trick me into taking her out. She would tell me that she had pooped when there’s no poop (lol). Or she will ask to nurse. I know she’s just tricking me cause when I actually offer her, she would jump and start exploring the car. So of course I’ll have to put her back into her car seat and resume driving.

Well, best of luck! As parents, we all want the best for pur kids right?

Oh, I’ve been such a lousy blogger for abandoning my blog, yet again. Being a fully working (and breastfeeding) mum has left me even less time for ‘me’ time when I’m not at work.

Yes, sadly, my me time is at work. LOL. Anyway, a quick update on weaning my 1-year-old, it was a total failure. Couldn’t get her off the breasts even with help of lemon and garlic. Hahaha. So my husband managed to persuade me to keep going until she’s 18 months before trying again. Somehow breastfeeding her was made easier once I’m embracing it. At least temporarily. For now.

I’ve been breastfeeding Sara for a year and a month now and it’s been a roller coaster journey. Don’t get me wrong, I love breastfeeding, it’s an amazing way to bond with my daughter. Plus, despite how it may look like, breastfeeding is actually a very convenient tool to feed and comfort baby especially while out and about. No bottles to carry or sterilize. Just pop your shirt up. LOL.

However, I can see that this journey is going to end soon. This past few days I’ve seriously considered to wean her off completely. I feel like it has become a burden for me and I feel like I need my ‘body’ back. I’ve resented breastfeeding her so many times which I feel guilty about and I know that is not healthy. On contrary, I still feed reluctant because I know for a fact that breastmilk is the best nutrition, especially her main source of digestible DHA.

Still, I can’t afford to have moments where I’m resenting breastfeeding.

Let me tell you. Sara is a reverse cycle baby. Which means, while I’m away at work, she will drink very very little milk, just enough to stop feeling hungry and then she would wait for me. It gets worse in the evening where she’ll refuse milk because she knows I’ll be home soon. At the moment, she’s already drinking formula and infant’s goats milk while I’m at work, only because she started rejecting EBM.

Now, what happens is, she will nurse nurse nurse at night (and sometimes all night long) and it seriously tires me. Since I’ve stopped pumping during the day my supply has been established for night feeding only. So, weekend becomes very challenging as my supply is not enough. Yet, Sara being persistent and even determined, she’ll still refuse bottle (or drink very little) and rather nurse for a damn long time until she’s full.

I’ve had enough and I’m determined to wean her off.

I know that with Sara, the only way is to go cold turkey. I went to the pharmacy and asked for Dostinex. It’s a lactation suppressant drug. Unfortunately it takes 2 days for the milk to dry up and I can’t breastfeed while on the medicine.

BUMMER.

How the hell am I supposed to not breastfeed her when I know she’s gonna scream her lungs out asking for it?

At that time, I didn’t care. Figure out the details later. I was so desperate to get my freedom back so I bought them. RM56 for two,(read:  TWO) tiny tablets. It better work.

So, I went home that day, I nursed her as usual, and once I know she’s full, I tried rocking her to sleep without nursing. She cried. On and off. For 30minutes. The last 10 minutes she was so tired of crying she turned to look at me. She looked at me in the eyes with an expression I had never seen before. It was an empty stare. I looked back at her and wondered, have I betrayed the trust we’ve built for her whole lifetime?

I couldn’t.

I burst into tears as I told her how much I love her, how sorry I am for being selfish.

We then sang her favourite bedtime song, and I nursed her to sleep. She dozed off in a couple of minutes.

Perhaps I can still try to wean her off some other time. I’ve heard of the lemon and neem oil trick. I still can’t find neem oil yet, so I’ll try the lemon trick this weekend. Ideally, I just want to wean off her daytime feeds until she’s two years old.

But looking at the situation, I know that with her, it’s either all or  nothing. I still haven’t decided whether to wean her off completely. I guess I’ll just casually try and see how it works out.

I’m sorry Sara, this is not the end. It is only the start of our special relationship, okay?