I just thought that I want to share my own birth control experience. It’s a frequently talked about topic as general awareness sense, but as I talk to my own friends, I find few of us are using birth control methods.

I also often hear stories of messed up periods or hormones after taking the injection and Implanon methods.

A quick disclaimer: I’m not a doctor, so please seek your doctor’s advice.

Moving on. As I talk to my friends who have had an ‘accident’ pregnancy, and I asked them about Oral Contraceptive Pills (OCP). A lot of them gave this excuse of fearing forgetting to take their pills. And of course, they don’t want the ‘side effects’ of the other birth control methods.

I get it. Birth control sucks. It’s tricky to choose one. Especially if you are breastfeeding or you have other conditions.

I once took an OCP that severely impacted my mood swings. Luckily I noticed it and quickly got off it. However, I have used this brand called Loette, and it works wonders for me. I don’t experience any negative side effects, no weight gain, no mood swings, nothing. Probably a little bit of vaginal dryness but with a good diet and supplements, it’s easily overcome.

The beauty of using OCP is, there is no long-term side effect. You can stop using it, and your period will adjust back to normal immediately or in 1-3 months (realistically). Unlike injections and Implanon, it may take about a year to get back to your normal fertility rate.

My tips on taking OCP:

1. Take it on the same day every day. Ideally place it in a visible place, easily accessible to you.
2. I like to place mine on my bedside. I will always have a bottle of water -or you can learn to swallow the pills without water. The pills are very small.
3. The pills are individually labelled with days of the week, so you’ll know whether you’ve taken the pill, in case you forget.
4. If you miss one, don’t panic. Just take it ASAP even if it means taking 2 pills a day.
5. Track your period and intercourses. I use Apple Health apps. Easy and basic. That way, you can clear yourself of any doubts if any should arise.
6. If you find yourself missing atleast to 2 days of pills in a row or in short period, make sure to use backup contraception as that is considered unsafe. There may be escape ovulation If you already had intercourse during unsafe periods, just take the emergency pill.

So far, I have managed to prevent unwanted pregnancy during the first 2 years after I was married. (I got pregnant in <2 months after I stopped taking OCP). Now, after 2 kids, I’ve successfully prevented pregnancy for 5 years.

I don’t know about you. But I personally do not want any unwanted pregnancy -having remorse when seeing that double lines. Don’t do it to yourself, or your unborn baby. It’s a gift to be able to plan your family.
It really saddens me to hear some of my friends and people I know, who regretted her pregnancy. They don’t want to get pregnant, yet won’t educate themselves to prevent it.

Also, a husband has no say about how you should be doing the contraceptive. A good husband should always respect you and your body. A husband who prevents birth control is a disrespectful husband to his wife, her body and her choices.

At the end of the day, when it comes to pregnancy, it is your body and you are subject to all the pain that comes with it. So, don’t ever give in to someone who won’t respect that.

There is no reason in the world you should get pregnant, except that you, YOU want it yourself. Not even your mom, your friends and even your own husband should be allowed to pressure you into getting pregnant if that is not your wish.

I guess my point is, take contraceptives, get educated. Newborns deserve to be born in a place where they are truly wanted and be unconditionally loved. 💛

Ramadhan is the most holy month for Muslims and is the month where Muslims all around the world try their best to be better Muslims. Ramadhan is sweet and it’s special. However, it can also pose many challenges of different kinds to most people. One of it is maintaining patience in amidst of hunger. For me, the real test of patience is with the kids.

One of the struggle is meal time. Meal time can be a battle zone with kids, no joke. All the negotiations, and the cleaning up, IT’S HELL. And you know, during fasting month the negotiations are harder because you can’t eat to prove to them that the food is delicious.  and of course, that whole monkey-see-monkey-do situation as well.

What’s the worst thing, though? The wastage, because I can’t eat their leftover! Oh, the heartache to throw away good food.

Sara is a really picky eater. A lot of negotiations come into play just to make her eat. Sometimes, I don’t have the energy to negotiate, and let her starve until she cries for food. Although, that’s not actually helpful because it can happen at very inconvenient time. Also, I need to feed Amira too, so it’s just easier to feed them both, in terms of cleaning work.

Oh, speaking of Amira.

She likes to eat. Sort of. But here’s the thing, she’s one year and a half, and ever since she was like 11months old, she only wanted to feed herself. Yeah, sounds good right? It helps with her motor skills whatever, but you know, I am soooo tired of cleaning up the mess! But she won’t have it any other way. It’s either she won’t eat or she feeds herself. Clever little b-.

So yeah, don’t even get started with just how embarrassed I feel every time we leave a restaurant. The table and the floor is always a mess! Oh god.

Do you see what I’m dealing with?

There you go, the unglamorous life of a mom. It’s so easy to see on instagram and think that people’s life is perfect, but behind those cute pictures, there is this that people never really see. But you know what, my motto is, “pick your battle”.  On days where I don’t feel like negotiating, I just leave some biscuits accessible to them, and let them fend for themselves whenever. Let them starve until they are crying for food. Even if it means lunch is at 3pm.

And when they are sooo hungry, they would eat more with little negotiations. That, my friends, is victory.

Amira fell asleep on the baby chair right before lunch was served

Before I was a mother,
I slept late every night, and wake up anytime I wanted,
A cup of raspberry tea for relaxation,
Never woken up by anyone who needs attention

Before I was a mother,
The morning breeze is rejuvenating,
A cup of coffee is a bliss,
Never have to instantly wake up to mothering,
Going to work is only as bad as the traffic is,
No morning is rushed to the nursery.

Breastfeeding is an emotional journey. Your body is not yours and clothing choices are limited to ones with nursing access. Your baby is your timer.

Although my milk supply is low, Amira still won’t accept any type of formula milk from the bottle. After 7 months I stopped expressing milk at work as it was too challenging. I was hoping my milk supply would deminish due to lack of demand, but 5 months later I still find Amira attached to my breasts with no signs of weaning off. *sigh*

To me, it’s unbearable, I so desperately want to wean her off. I’ve tried many things to wean her but all were unsuccessful attempts. If anything, it made her even more upset and it feels like it gets harder every time.

I am so frustrated because while I was pregnant I told her to be the kind of baby who doesn’t care what kind of milk to eat. But noooo she did not turn up that way. Now I’m convinced all those pregnancy talk is a bunch of bullshit people tell you to make you feel better and get through pregnancy. One of many, many parenting scams. Aha!

Anyway.. As I was convinced I am in a deep shit hole (lol), I can see a little bit of hope.

On Saturday night, she woke up at around 2am. And she took a bottle of formula milk, with no fight! OMG I was so so happy. Although.. the next day, she was back to seeing the bottle as her nemesis. but yeah, I just want to cling on to the fact that she CAN but she just won’t.

Alsoo.. in addition,

A kind mother has offered to donate her extra breastmilk. Oh, I am ever so thankful!! Amira was fine taking breast milk in the bottle so I hope that she can accept it. I mean, it has been months since she took a bottle. So yesterday we met the family and they are such such wonderful people. They also have an older son which is turning 5 and Sara and him just hit it off.

I know that Amira will eventually wean off. It’s just that I feel this immense feeling of torture breastfeeding her. However, getting the donated breastmilk somehow gives me hope. Maybe I can use this to slowly transition her to accept milk in a bottle and eventually whole/formula milk.

Here’s hoping to a better (happy) future.

p.s, I’m sorry if this post seems very negative. I am in no way condemning breastfeeding as I know it is best for baby. but hey, this is a personal outlet to express my feelings. I’m pretty sure my husband had heard enough of just how much I desperately need to stop breastfeeding. So..

ok bye.