So, I’ve been really bad to my own blog. So bad, I’ve forgotten about it. Well, no fret. One of the list in my 2013 resolution is to blog more. And, that’s my first resolution ..which I just made 2 seconds ago as I’m typing this.

One of the reason why I’ve been avoiding to blog is that I always hated whatever I’ve written in the past. Depending on the mood I’m in. And right now I’m in a pretty good mood, since it’s half past midnight. The blogsphere has changed, and very few still blog the way blogs were written.  And I’ve decided not to care whether I, you or anyone else hates it or not, because at the end of the day, I’m writing for myself.

So, what the hell am I up to right now? Absolutely nothing.

I just finished an e-commerce design job, and currently, I’m at a crossroads. I’m not sure whether I should a) Find architectural-rel job, b) set up my own bussiness or c) sit home, get a freaking hobby and nothing else.

Surely, the last one seems more ideal to me, but I can’t bear the idea of not having money (other than the weekly allowance my husband gives me).  If I’m lucky, I could be one of the very few that earns through hobbies (yeah, dream on!).

The second option seems inviting, but it requires a lot of energy, and it is the one that I would prefer most. But, I should at least put my Degree to a good use, first, before I try anything else. Which brings us to the next option; getting a job.

I could get a job, and a steady payroll, but the problem is I don’t own a car. My car is currently being used by my sister. I have my husband’s car but it’s a stick, and uh.. well, I suck at it. I don’t even know why they make stick shift anymore! Oh no no, I might get into an accident! Of course, I am an optimist, and that is just an excuse. Most importantly, is it worth it to spend 8 hours a day, 5 days a week to earn RM1,500 – RM2000? Surely, it’s a shit amount of money if you think about the hours to put in. Not to mention the stresses.

So, after having a shitty day, and having a wonderful husband who’s super encouraging, he made me realize why I even bother to consider about getting a job. It seems I’ve forgotten that life is not about the money. I wanted the experience. Or atleast, I wanted to know whether this is the industry I really want to be in. If it is, then I’ll pursue master next year. If it’s not, there’s always other opportunities.

…like being a housewife. haha, Just kidding.

It’s really hard being away from my husband. Everyday I have a hard time waking up, knowing I don’t have the purpose to get through the day. Everyday to me is a survival.

The highlight of my day is when I get to talk to my husband. And we try to be strong for each other.

Being apart is not entirely a bad thing. It has brought our marriage to the next level. We become closer to each other, and know that we can never take each other for granted, not even a day.

Had we not spend out time apart, I may not have this kind of appreciation of him. Before this, I know he makes me happy. But after being apart, now I really know how HAPPY he makes me feel. I also realized that without him, a huge part of me is missing.

He is, afterall, my better half.

at Universal Studios Singapore. Hot and sweaty. Ah, summertime.

Today’s weather is 25 degrees hot. It makes me so happy. That means spring is passing, and it’s time for summer to come and brighten the southern hemisphere with joy.

Summer in December. I’ll be the happiest girl. :joytears:

See you there, my dearest.

P.s, Sorry about the last post. Anger took its troll over me.

*Please be advised that this post as suggested by its title contains a lot of cursing and vulgar words. May not be suitable for everyone.*

Found out my exam is going to finish within 3 days once the exam week starts.

All three exams, in three fucking days, CONSECUTIVELY.

Apparently all of them needs thorough revision, all fucking 23 topics, on two of them, and about 11 topics on one of them.

And I have a week to study them all.

Is my Uni fucking kidding me? Is this somekind of a joke? I god trying to fuck my life???

I’m not good with exams, seriously I’m not. I hate it so much I want to burn everything down to the ground.

It’s already bad enough I couldn’t choose the subjects for this semester because I’m a fucking transfer student and I end up taking some fucking bullshit subject about fucking geology. So, really, this is like the breaking point for me.

I sooo hope I’m not gonna fail. I’ll be happy if I manage to even pass. Cause if I fail, there’s no way in hell I’m repeating any of this shit.

Trust me, I’m trying very hard to turn the table around. I want to show these motherfuckers I can do this.

Yeah, so I may have to allocate atleast one hour a day to study one topic for each subject. With all my Studio going on. On top of that, my studio is not looking very good right now.

Atleast it’ll be over 3 weeks earlier than I thought. Something to look forward to.

I was reading  Noktahhitam’s old post about his childhood (yeah call me a stalker for going through his old posts =p). I don’t remember if I ever responded to the tag, (I deleted my blog over a year ago) . Hahah. My mistake, but I don’t regret it. Anyway, I would consider myself some pretty easy kid in a sense that I was pretty independent. Although, I was a bit naughty when I was little. My mum said I liked to bite people. Even strangers.

I remember once, I was playing with this guy (I think he’s my first or second cousin or some), he’s probably a few years older than me. My mum said I was 3 or 4 at that time, I can’t remember. I remember biting his nipple (LOL!). He seemed stunned, unable to comprehend what was happening to him. After a few seconds tears were coming out of his eyes and he started crying, and then only I released his nipple. HAHAHAHA OMG, come to think of it, I was EVIL!

Funny thing, during my engagement ceremony, my mum introduced him to me, and said, “Ini la yang awak gigit dulu tu”. Yes, public humiliation right there.

I was also a sneaky little brat when I was small. I used to sneak out and wandered around the housing area on my own. Sometimes I played by the ditch. I remembered enjoying all those adventure on my own like I was being all independant. Sometimes I enjoyed watching the older boys playing sepak takraw and I wished they would let me play because I thought I was a boy too. HAHA.

Whatever it is, I was always home by Maghrib. My mum said at that time I was as young as 3 years old!  The neighbours kept scolding my mum for allowing that but she said she couldn’t do anything about it because I had my ways to sneak out behind her! Apparently I continued doing that until I was in my teenage years hahaha.  But, if I imagine my children doing that, DAMN, I’ll be so freaked out! Can you imagine a 3-year-old wandering on the streets alone? I don’t know how the hell am I even alive right now. O.o

Oh, I miss my mum. She can be a pain sometimes, but not anywhere near the pain I’ve given her all my life. She’s the most supportive person I know in my whole entire life. Thank you umi for being an awesome mum. Umi, no matter how old I am now, I will always be your sweet little girl. <3