When kids ask about sex
Warning: this post may not be suitable for narrow-minded people
My 6-year-old little sister, Aida likes to be around me. Even sometimes, when I’m watching 18-sx rated movies on the tv, she would stay in the tv room and play with herself (toys, I mean) nicely at the corner of the room. She saw some making out scenes on the tv and said, “Eww… they are kissing! That’s disgusting!”
Honestly, I didn’t know how to react. Should I encourage her by saying, “Yeah it is, you can get sick by kissing” or should I tell her that kissing is a wonderful thing. Or should I just shut up and let her be? Because, if I encourage her, she might grow up looking at sex as a dirty thing. Well, then again, we, (speaking as a Malaysian) are raised by parents who keep telling us that sex is dirty and we should avoid it bla…bla..bla.. *yawn*
Anyway, back to Aida, she then continued, “eww… they are using their tounge! ugh! saliva!! That’s is disgusting right?” I remained silenced. Then she asked me again, “it’s disgusting, right? right? right?” while tapping my knee. So, I said, “urm.. yeah.” God, honestly, I didn’t know what to say to her. 
What if, one day she comes home from school and ask me, “Aisyah, what is sex?” What should I tell her? How do I explain it to her?
Aida: hey, what is sex?
me: what? where did you get that?
Aida: well, I was walking with my friends around the apartment and we heard something from the ground floor’s apartment. my friend said that they were doing sex.
wtf. didn’t the couple know that there are kids going around?
me: 
well, sex is uh… two people… uh… don’t do it. You do sex, you die. (?)
I don’t want her to grow up knowing sex as dirty or anything. I want her to know that it isn’t so that she can value sex. So that she will know that sex comes with great responsibility and it takes great maturity to decide whether or not to do sex. Maybe I should try to explain to her that sex is only great safe when you do it with your future husband and that you can get diseases if you do sex outside marriage. haha.
It’s a shame to read on the paper that even 12-year-old kids are doing sex. I mean, sex! Not just kissing or making out! Their lack of education in sex lead them to do such thing. It’s a shame that they didn’t get proper sex education. Who’s to blame, then? Parents? Maybe.
If I were to interview the kid, the first question would be, “how was the orgasm?” LOL. I mean, how big could a 12-year-old’s penis be? Sorry, I’ve never had one so I don’t know. (OMG! There are minors reading my blog! ). Please ignore this paragraph if you are a minor, thank you.
If the kids need to know about sex, make sure that they learn it from the right sources; parents or teachers, FIRST. When the kids find out about sex from the wrong sources, i.e., porn, it can be dangerous. The lack of knowledge in sex can cause them to do free or unprotected sex which increases the risk of sexually transmitted diseases. The only sex education in Malaysia is in Science class, form 3, chapter 4: Reproduction. It’s about the ovum and the sperm and there’s some about birth control and HIV. I don’t recall much about safe sex and what to consider when thinking about doing sex. Same goes for form 5 Biology. Maybe because it’s Science. If they can’t integrate sex education into the textbook, why not have talks about sex every month (or two)? At school.
I remember, once, when I was 12 and innocent, I was helping my mum at the kitchen and somehow (I forgot how she brought it up) she asked me,
mom: you know how people make babies, huh?
me: yeah. It’s disgusting
mom: now you think it’s disgusting. Later, when you are older, you can find it pleasurable.
me: 
hm…
p.s, I’m keeping my opinion short. and I welcome yours.
p.p.s, I’m going to redesign Aisyahrozi.com
Popularity: 48% [?]
58 Responses to “When kids ask about sex”
Have something to say? Come on, don't be shy. Just say it out loud!
salam and hi,
I think it’s all depend on the individuals parents or schools since I remember that we learn about sex in “sekolah agama”. I think there’s a chapter on it if I am not mistaken :)
but I do agree with your points tho. Maybe we need such subject in schools starting NOW. hmm when I stumbled upon such topic I’ll remember how to explain war or death on kids.
p.crew’s last blog post..Travel: Ohio State University, Columbus
[Reply]
really? I’ve been to sekolah agama and I can’t recall learning about sex.
[Reply]
hehe did you skip classes ? nah I am kidding. I think we did have about “jimak”. I went to like semi-private agama school btw. hmm..
neway great food for thought post! kudos.
p.crew’s last blog post..Travel: Ohio State University, Columbus
[Reply]
ahahaa.. interesting post indeed, just good to keep me awake.
well, back in my school (an all-boys school), as you guys can guess, we did discuss this stuff often (yeah, no need to ‘tapis-tapis’). i vividly remember that it was our ustaz that first told us ’bout sex and boy, it was the best religious class ever. haha.. duhh, good times.
=)
fuqaha’s last blog post..End of Semester
[Reply]
@fuqaha,
heh, trust me even though it’s the brightest sun and sky ever here, I am still dizzy (been awake for 24 hours for some academics unimportant reasons). So same here need to be awake for the upcoming Barca ManU game..
bout the topic, yeah I recalled some agama schools did expose us about sex if not all :P
p.crew’s last blog post..Travel: Ohio State University, Columbus
[Reply]
yeah, but when the gov start sex education from primary school, i hope malaysia won’t be like us, sex at early age.
starwalker’s last blog post..im not fat! im just fluffy
[Reply]
Ironicallykan, I wanted to write about kids and porn. Anyway, My ten year old brother, who long ago was 5, asked me about porn. Why the made love. He said he saw on a laptop (which I dont know).
I explained to him in great detail.
He said, “Tak malu ke telanjang?”
Oh well, kids will be kids. They will learn and grow.
NoktahHitam’s last blog post..Semak…
[Reply]
oh? a 5-year-old asked about porn?? wow. kids.
and, I hope he didnt see that on YOUR laptop. hahaha!
LOL, “tak malu ke telanjang?” hahaha. I remember I’ve asked that question too. haha.
[Reply]
btw… redesign? WTH?
NoktahHitam’s last blog post..Semak…
[Reply]
Yep, I actually do know what you mean about how 12 year olds are having sex and all that. I have a cousin who started talking about sex when she was like… 9? 10? Somewhere around there… So yeah… But to answer your question. I really do not know. This is hard to say, because you don’t want your sister to just go out and have sex if you say it’s a good thing, but then if you say it’s a bad thing, then… So yeah, that’s hard, and I really don’t know what to say about that. I don’t even want to think about how I’m going to talk to my kids(when I have some, IF I have some. =P) about it! So yeah. Wow, that’s a good post to ponder about…
Oh, and I had sex education when I was in 6th grade… Well, beginning in 6th grade. LOL…
[Reply]
Thank goodness I don’t have younger siblings. I would find it very hard to explain to him/her. I guess I won’t know what’s the right thing to say. I know what you mean though. Sex is a great step in a relationship that should only be done if you are mature and responsible and you’re able to face the consequences as well. Judging the world today, with STDs and so on you have to be so particular.
I think sex education should be incorporated into schools. Just like Malaysia, here you only learn the sex organs etc. in Form 4 & 5 in Science or Biology.
Shen’s last blog post..Great discovery!
[Reply]
i think i will explain to my kids as details as they can take it and most important is to remind them what they shouldn’t do. my take is, it is better they know it from me than from someone else.
i was a smart kid, so i learned it all myself muahahaha! reading is good for a curious mind :P so becareful of what your kids read and watch. make sure they mix with the right friends :D
bongkersz’s last blog post..Emoticons Overdosed
[Reply]
Here in the Philippines or atleast in my school we have the subject Health and we get to discuss about sex education. Actually it is informative and yeah you can enjoy sex with your future husband.
So many teens or pre-teens today are getting pregnant because of lack in knowledge in sex and they are growing in numbers and the child could either be aborted or just another kid uncared for unless the parents are have the money and care to take care of them.
Nice reaction from what your mom said, same here at first I find it disgusting.
You have a lovely layout by the way.
Gayle’s last blog post..Weird-ness
[Reply]
belikan dia buku permata yg hilang..eh silap..just terangkan kat dia supaya tiada salah faham..
kasi contoh : kenapa kita tarik tangan kita bila terkena cerek panas, cakap kat dia itu kuasa tuhan, itulah uniknya manusia, cuma buat masa ni belum sesuai utk aida fikirkan semua tu :)
syamsulariff.com’s last blog post..Komen Diana Danielle Beeson terhadap Syamsulariff?
[Reply]
ahah!OMG ur m0m seriously ckp sex is pleasurable?haha!xleh imagine klu my mom ckp cmtu kat i;)
[Reply]
yeah, the original ayat was,
“sekarang rasa gelilah. dah besar nanti…. ”
and you don’t know how many pda’s I’ve seen. gosh, my mum. erk…
(no wonder I myself is a bit… uh… u know
)
[Reply]
ahahha!!yea i know..
[Reply]
lol
tell her like ur mom told u before this
“now you think it’s disgusting. Later, when you are older, you can find it pleasurable.”
d2z’s last blog post..FINALLY…examination week
[Reply]
hahah. i’m afraid she might go around repeating that to my mum. how should i answer that?
can’t comment? why so eh? I’m a FF user also.
[Reply]
dunno..mayb the server busy..
u affraid ur sis gonna tell this to ur mom..
aida: mom!!, ‘kak aisyah’ told me that u said sex is pleasurable…lol~
d2z’s last blog post..FINALLY…examination week
[Reply]
@aisyah
off topic..i cant sent comment through firefox..dunno why..
d2z’s last blog post..FINALLY…examination week
[Reply]
rasanya pendedahan seks untuk kanak2 mesti di manage dengan cara yang betul dengan berpandukan ajaran agama….disebabkan pendedahan seks yang salah pada kanak2 boleh menyebabkan budak2 tu salah faham dan diorang ingat ianya satu permainan macam diorang main pondok2….hahaha…tengok je la zaman sekarang ni…bebudak dalam usia 11-13 thun dah tau pasal seks ni…
[Reply]
Label me as a pervert or anything you like, but I advocate for sex education from a young age. Of course not as young as six, perhaps starting from ten since children at this age will be increasingly sensitive towards changes in their peers’ body when puberty kicks in.
I don’t agree that parents shield their baby boys and girls completely from the topic surrounding sexuality and gender. I know that they’re trying to protect their tender minds from illicit media portrayals of sex, but usually parents will go overboard and shield their children from the truth as well. Sex is nothing bad - neither is it dirty nor advocates for promiscuity. If kids don’t get to know what they need to know, they’ll use their OWN ways to get to know, and usually what they get isn’t quite the truth. It’s good for parents to educate their children about sex, and more importantly, prevention from unsafe sex.
teddY’s last blog post..My first i-(Whatever), going Apple-esque
[Reply]
I think as Muslims it would be better to explain things from an Islamic point of view, rather than the “Malaysian” or “Melayu” situation, since culture can change and evolve however it wants whereas Islam has set rules.
I wouldn’t say sex is a dirty thing at all. But it is something that has consequences, and that’s the reason why in Islam, it is only allowed between a husband and his wife. So perhaps it would be better for the statement to be… “safe when you do it with your HUSBAND and that you can get diseases if you do sex outside marriage”. And not “future husband” since that’s basically sex outside marriage too, what that last part of the sentence says. =P
I think parents should just answer truthfully when their children ask. Like the others have said, if they find out from other sources, it might not be the correct/proper information and that might lead to more negative things…
I believe some of my friends’ classes learnt sex education during PJK. Tu pun because the teacher decided to, and not because it was in the syllabus (not that we had one ^^ ) or anything.
Aneesah’s last blog post..Really quick entry –
[Reply]
http://www.nadlique.com/index.php/2008/04/23/my-first-sex-book-how-to-educate-your-child-about-sex/
Mohd Ismail’s last blog post..GuaMuzik - Kekurangan & Idea yang Harus Ada
[Reply]
Salaam.
Saya baru je tulis pasal ni dlm blog saya. Hehe. Saya ada terjumpa buku utk budak-budak tentang sex education.
Nadlique’s last blog post..My First Sex Book - How to educate your child about sex
[Reply]
Makes me remember about my biology class a long time ago. Even the teacher “senyum-senyum” while teaching about this topic. Hahaha.
[Reply]
I was on motivational camp last week and one of our facilitators told us story about a 10yo boy having sex with 18yo girl.
I bet her middle finger is larger than her partner’s toy.
[Reply]
:) Huhu.. Thnzx 4 da compliment! U r the one who behind my success!
if a kids ask me what is sex,
i might told them to wait 4 my answer.. (try to escape) hahaha..
saffa’s last blog post..Hooyeah!! My First Post
[Reply]
i glad my little brother don’t ask me about sex or kissing..i don’t know about anything about it..*sigh*
[Reply]
Aww. That’s kinda cute though. I was watching my godson do the same thing. We HAD to tell him “stop looking” but the more you tell ‘em not to look - THEY’LL LOOK!! Grrr. Wow your mom told you that! lol. It’s hard, my sister is 9 and i’m waiting for the day she asks me about sex. OMG I don’t even know where to begin. Stork dropped babies in baskets and put ‘em on moms doorstep. Yess! That’ll work until they’re 18
LOL. TC.
Ashhh’s last blog post..Yes, VOYAGER.
[Reply]
since i live in this asian Culture (and i believe you are too) we kinda growth up with this perception that “sex is dirty thing”, my parent educated me pretty early with sex education since i got my first period, and im pretty pleased how they have this “open mind” about that…
no im not, ill probably going to say “shut up, go ask mom about this” play save..
that must be pretty confusing about how this little kid start asking you about sex related things… i probably going to say like “kissing isnt disgusting, it feels nice… go try it!” lmao
[Reply]
LOL! Interesting topic :P But your sister is ONLY 6! So, I don’t think the “sex talk” is necessary at the moment. Perhaps when she gets a little older, probably 10 or something. I would probably say something like “Kissing is not dirty. You kiss mom & dad! It shows that you love someone. But kissing other boys is for when your much older so don’t worry about that now” :) That’s how i’d do it anyway :)
Leanne’s last blog post..We didn’t start the fire
[Reply]
learning sex education maybe useful for some reason, like preventing from being raped or something like that. it only depends to the people themselves whether they use the “sex” knowledges they had in the right or wrong way.
but, surprisingly, your 9 years old sister knew something about sex. wow! but like NoktahHitam said, kids will always be a kids, they would never understand even you explain to them briefly. they may understand in different way.
haha! my cousin used to ask his parents about this the same way and they said sex is like you went to playground and play to enjoy yourself. so, sex is something that adults who are married play to enjoy themselves. wth!? haha.
about the lessons in textbooks, well, it’s normal, when you grew up, you’ll find yourself will full of question, how this happened, how that happened and others, especially when boys and girls reach their puberty stage, they always wanted to know what is the characteristic of their partner whether male or female.
p/s : omg! i’m only 16 but i talk like i were 18 or older. hmph! all the dirty language up there. 8-) lol! sorry people. :)
helmie.’s last blog post..How To Be Single and Happy.
[Reply]
I’m not sure about sex education can prevent rape. because rape is a criminal done by uneducated, brainless, people. and, correction, she’s 6, not 9. and some kids, can actually understand more than you expect, don’t look down at them cause they can be smart.
and oh, sex is somekind of play actually. a very, very pleasurable game. hahahaha.
and, about the curiosity, yeah it’s true. that’s why they teenagers (and children) need to be educated so that they won’t do it for the sake of curiosity. or Science, for that matter. haha.
and oh, don’t worry. you are not talking like 18 or older. because trust me, there’s a lot more to talk about on this.
[Reply]
well, as you can see, sex is the most thing ppl will talk about. when i was young, i never knw this thingy and was exposed whn i was 11th. my younger brother knw about this when he was 8th. surprisingly, …
hanep’s last blog post..I’m off, and I want to break up
[Reply]
When I was kid, I remembered I ask my mom once about that. And its crazy:
“Mom, what is the feeling when you’re having sex?”
And she was like,
So I didn’t continue. Actually I was really curious that time. And to be honest with you Aisyah, my eyes (yes just eyes) lost it virginity at 14 years old. HAHAHA. That’s the first time I watched porn. I said “eew.” That’s really disgusting. You know, when this horrible thing goes inside… How does it feel. That what curious me. 
In Philippines, there are a lot of teenagers who does premarital sex. And the catholic church is against it. The church even says to ban the condom ads because it might catch attention to teenagers - which it really does.
Teaching sex education isn’t bad after all. It actually gives idea of what you will get when you have sex.
Yvette’s last blog post..Yvette on Weird sides
[Reply]
if sex education gives you the idea of what you will get then it’s ok. but if it gives you the idea of what it feels like, then it’s dangerous. haha.
[Reply]
uh ah uh ah.. no comment.
Affuan’s last blog post..Forum - Tempat Untuk Dituju Bila Siap Blog Baru
[Reply]
i dont know what to say. so blank.
[Reply]
me too. Aisyah go teach your sister :D
aj’s last blog post..Woody :: free wordpress theme
[Reply]
1. What is sex?
Sex is how a man and a woman make babies.
2. How do they perform sex?
You’d be too disgusted if I told you the truth and nothing but the truth. So fast fact, it’s when a man and a woman decides to do something really disgusting for your age.
3. But, how do they do sex?
Ask Mum. Ask Dad. *runaway* Or you’ll learn it in school. Or if I were to tell you, I’m worried you won’t be able to sleep tonight. ROFL!
Bah, even I’d have a hard time. LOL!
[Reply]
sex is jantina lah. lalala
MK’s last blog post..Cara-cara Nak Format Hard Disk Dan Install Windows XP
[Reply]
Aiyak soklan maut ni
i got a nieces and nephews that asked the same question. Jawapan naif makcik mereka ni, ” sex tu utk org yg dah kawen jerk, org belum kawen boleh amik tahu tp tak boleh lebih2. ” I don’t know the correct answer but luckily they accept my opinion..phui 
catzer’s last blog post..SEO YOUR BLOG WITH TAG
[Reply]
I found that the best way to learn more about sex when your ‘betters’ refuse to talk about it is to type ’sex wiki’ in your search bar. But of course, you can also learn it just by typing ’sex’. Let’s just say that it’s up to one’s preference :P.
ps: Followed the blog trail to here. Man, you’re popular. and good blog btw.
audi’s last blog post..the man can talk
[Reply]
LOL. How can you make sure that they type it on wikipedia? type it on google and she might end up watching porn. haha.
and oh, thanks. nah, I’m not that popular. (at least not as popular as MohdIsmail.com) heheh
[Reply]
wah…
new theme..
cool…
congrats!
loque’s last blog post..and the winner is……
[Reply]
yuhuuuu dah lamer tak singgah sini..hekhek
Citer pasal sex,ade baeknye sistem pendidikan negara kita diubah skit…
maybe kena tunggu aku jadik menteri pelajaran kot? *feeling2 haha
well,good topic btw.Banyak pandangan boleh diberi dari macam2 pihak.Tinggal kite ajelah yang nak decide mane yang best
Anysz Sengalnerdz’s last blog post..MakeOver SeSaJe
[Reply]
My god, even 12 y/o kids do sex. will they ever find it pleasurable? hahaha. anyway, that’s the hardest part.. when kids become curious with those kinds of things. we all have to be careful with the words we’ll say.
i love your layout!!!! so good!
[Reply]
wow. nice pic. what’s goin’ on with our community.
[Reply]
i rather watch spongebob with my lil sis..
MK’s last blog post..Cara-cara Nak Format Hard Disk Dan Install Windows XP
[Reply]
“me:
well, sex is uh… two people… uh… don’t do it. You do sex, you die. (?)”
I tell my half-sister the same thing. The only issue is she knows way more than I did at that age. She isn’t stupid to begin messing around and “doing sex” because she knows she would probably never see daylight again if any of our parents found out. It just scares me that at her age children talk so freely about this and practice it as well.
At twelve all I ever thought about was school, tennis, and playing around with HTML. Nothing else. I was interested in boys but I was deadly afraid of talking to them or being friends for fear that if we stood too close I could get pregnant or contract something even though I had taken Sex Education in school. It was the Catholic version of it, which was vague in both definition and visuals. I am not Catholic, but it really doesn’t matter. Watered down information about anything does not provide excellent or desired results.
[Reply]
ah…this theme is so pleasing…
nice..
i once teach science in primary school, and a student ask me how baby is created, with a naughty face..
“wait till you grow pubic, come see me and then ill tell..” i left the boy clueless..hopefully he doesn’t ask his parents..huhu~
[Reply]
Hi Aisyah :D
This entry attracting me to give my view how we adult to cater sensitive issue for 12years kid.
Me in that situation probably tell the truth clearly the reason why they do sex? The good adult will telling in general answering in save zone good for both party. In case the kid going crazy e.g. ask about how to do a good blowjob? The best replies is it’s complicated right now for you until your reach 18years old, I keep this in KIV until the time come K ermm by the way can I check your mobile phone please?.LOL :D
laling’s last blog post..Sufiah Lain
[Reply]
Honestly what’s wrong with telling kids that adults have sex to make babies?
NoktahHitam’s last blog post..The Blind Date
[Reply]
hmm… I don’t think it’s wrong. tell them what they need to know. and as detailed as they can take it.
i think it depends on HOW we tell them.
[Reply]
is it true..they are sexually transmitted diseases?ive make love twice but with same
person..i didnt do it with whore 4 sure..in
what condition will sum1 get sexually transmitted diseases?
[Reply]
wow
well kids these days grow WAY too fast
but yea, i rse d best way 2 xplain is like u said la…
“its only ok if u do it with ur husband n its wrong to do it with others. because Allah says its sumthin special tht only married couples do”
if u say “u’ll get diseases” nnt lg byk soal plak, kan?
[Reply]