Hi, my name is Aisyah Rozi. This is my personal blog where I share my life experience, thoughts, ideas and occasionally, my projects. Recently, however, I share a lot about being a young mother. I'm also a YouTuber, so do checkout my channel! <3
Apr 22 2017

Happyganics Products Review – laundry detergent & bottle cleanser

Happyganics is a plant-based brand and the products are made in USA. I think they just started selling in Malaysia because I’ve never heard of them before. If you know me, I’m a huge natural products fan. I’m all for natural skincare and (natural food!). We have been using all-natural laundry detergents and bottle cleanser of different brands before, so it’s definitely not new to me.

Not only it’s better for us, but it’s better for the planet too. The chemicals from the detergent that are being dumped to the drainage system can be harmful for the earth.

Anyway, it’s been a little over a month since I’ve been using these products and I have to say I love them!

First of all, let’s talk about the packaging. I mean, tin container? And that cute graphic – I totally love them! They look so cute on the counter and I love looking at the packaging. I don’t know if it’s a designer thing, but does anyone else cares about product packaging? haha.



I got two variations of the products. Both are fragrance-free but the other one has Lavender scent. When it says Lavender, it doesn’t actually have fragrance, they are actually using Lavender essential oil. Fragrance is whole another chemical that you might want to avoid especially if your baby (or you) have sensitive skin. For me, fragrance in skincare is complete NO-NO. If you are using cloth diapers, some people actually prefer using unscented because that way, you can really tell whether the diapers come out clean. Sometimes detergent can mask the actual smell in case the laundry is still not clean. Unscented is also an option for those with very sensitive skin condition like eczema.


For me, both of them perform more or less the same in terms of performance. My laundry comes out soft and fresh-smelling.

I prefer lavender scent, it’s leaves a nice, gentle lavender smell on the clothes once dried. Unlike the chemical-ridden commercial detergents, the smell sometimes can be too strong or smells artificial.  I prefer to keep the unscented ones in the bathroom for soaking soiled clothes. For staining, I use one scoop in a bucket water and soak them for atleast 15-30mins or sometimes even for hours depending on how lazy I am.  I have successfully removed blood and organic stains. For now, I have to say, compared to Rockin’ Green detergent, Happyganics works better in terms of stain remover. I find that I have to work harder to get stains out using Rockin’ Green.

However, in my opinion,  the real test in stain remover is removing MILO stains. So, I made a video to test the efficiency of stain removing power!

Anyway, if you don’t bother to watch the video, the verdict for Milo: excellent! You have no idea just how many clothes I have thrown away because of milo stains. No milo, you say? Tell that to my daughter.

Now, let’s talk about the bottle cleanser.

Happyganics Bottle Cleanser


The bottle cleanser comes with lemon-lime scent from the essential oil. My first impression is that the lemon scent is very strong from what I’m used to in other bottle cleanser. However, I learned that I only need very little amount of detergent to clean the bottle. Also, I think it’s very efficient in removing the milk fat. With other bottle cleanser I sometimes find that I have to repeat the process to get it really clean, but with this, I probably never had to. Also, it also performs really well with overnight bottle (that is, bottle with milk that has been left for very long time, overnight or even 24hours with sour milk that has turned into sour pudding LOL- super gross!).

Also, with outings, I find that I can even skip the bottle brush and just shake the bottle vigorously with water and detergent for like 60 sec. It comes out pretty clean! Provided I clean it as soon as possible, that is. With other detergents, that hasn’t really been the case.

Overall, I am very happy with the products and would totally recommend it. For more information on Happyganics, go to https://happyganics.my/.

P.s, proper blog entry coming soon. My life updates – especially why I’ve been too busy to update my blog!

Disclaimer: The products were sent to me for review. However, all opinions are totally my own.

Feb 10 2017

Before I was a Mother

Before I was a mother,
I slept late every night, and wake up anytime I wanted,
A cup of raspberry tea for relaxation,
Never woken up by anyone who needs attention

Before I was a mother,
The morning breeze is rejuvenating,
A cup of coffee is a bliss,
Never have to instantly wake up to mothering,
Going to work is only as bad as the traffic is,
No morning is rushed to the nursery.

Before I was a mother,
Carefree, never knew about worry,
Worrying about so many,
The staircase, the daily mess, choking hazard,
Allergies and rashes and a sick day.

Before I was a mother,
I was brave,  always exploring,
Never have to battle frivolous conflict,
..with a small kid,
Now, even a simple task seems daunting.

Before I was a mother,

Time is mine,
I work, read, showered and rest at my own time,

My body is mine,
Never have to surrender nursing in the night,

My mind is mine,
No cries to hear, my sanity stays undefiled.

Before I was a mother,
I never felt so much pain,
Hurts as I cry in agony,
Greater than labour, in despair,
out of love, sometimes of misery.

Before I was a mother,
I never knew how big my heart can be,
Loving them as tough as they can be,
For they are as sweet as honey,

Blessings, indeed,
I must convince.

Amira (baby) and Sara

Jan 05 2017

Hello 2017! A reflection on 2016, and moving forward. 

Happy New Year!!

Gone are the days where I would be so excited to celebrate on new year’s eve. Going to dataran to watch fireworks and welcoming the new year. Amira was sick during the new year’s eve so the weekend was spent caring for a fussy baby.

2016 was the toughest year in my life. Being a mother, of two on its own is already a challenge. I am so blessed that my daughters are healthy and normal. So I would say, as much as I feel that motherhood is tough, there is always a mother who had it worse. However, it doesn’t make my struggles invalid.

2016 was about my inner struggles. My denials about the reality. I hardly wanted kids, but I am so blessed with not one, but two beautiful daughters. I kept thinking about couples who want kids so badly but years went by without two lines on the pee stick. Sometimes I felt life is unfair. I felt the universe is unfair.

For almost a year I struggled. Finding my own lost soul. Lost in amidst of breastfeeding, making baby food, stepping on random toys on the floor, endless laundry and trouble focusing. There are so many little things that needed my attention. Little clothes that need to be washed. Little bags need to be packed. Little things to bring to outings. Little people to manage. Screaming little people to manage. Even simple tasks were daunting.


They say life with children is fulfilling. They say everything is worth it.

But what if, at the end of the day, that is not true for me? All that time, energy, my body… *sigh*

Bliss is having my time for me. Bliss is having my body for my own. Not attached to ugly nursing clothes because they are practical for the baby.

I felt like I was in a dark room where nobody understood how I felt. I was trapped and life just went on without me. Everything were so blurry and I couldn’t recall many things. Conversations were bland. Sometimes I would scream my lungs out when I’m alone because I couldn’t bear the feelings.

I felt sorry for my kids because their mother is barely capable. Their mother hated things she had to do for the kids. Packing their bags, breastfeeding, making their food. Everything was done out of a job without love. It was painful as the job is not paid. No reward to enjoy. No bonus. No gratitude. Worst employment ever, and there was no quitting. It felt like a life sentence. Yet, I still worry if it would negatively impact their growth.

Well, because I do love them. Complicated much?


Then came November. Somehow things started to get better. We got a maid to help out with laundry. I was actually able to pull myself out of the bed and face my day. I started eating well. I paid the parking. I was not late to office. I started getting a clearer head. Suddenly, Amira is entertaining and Sara is ever so sweet and lovely. I went on outings with husband without the kids.


In December, I started to genuinely enjoy the kids. I was kinder to my husband. I went on several marathons. I was fired up to join more marathons in the future. I still couldn’t find the time to exercise, baby steps.  I felt the life in me. I feel inspired to get into my hobby, which was sewing. I wanted to make something.

Looking back in 2016, there was nothing much that I have accomplished. Other than, I now have 2 years experience as an architectural assistant. With all that happened, I still believe that in the end, it is to teach me a lesson. Maybe I won’t learn anything had life went exactly how I wanted. Maybe this is what I need? I’m still waiting for that silver lining even if it’s staring right at me and I didn’t know it. I have to have faith, otherwise, then, what is the point of everything?

One of the biggest lesson in 2016? To live life without regrets. Learning the true meaning of regrets is even more painful than to let it go. It is a process, and I am trying inshaAllah with a lot of prayers.

2017 seems brighter. I am so looking for it. I have plans and already on the way to it, inshaAllah. Please pray for me.




Nov 19 2016

Bahagian Masing-masing. 

Ada orang, bertahun-tahun kahwin tapi belum dapat anak. Teringin sangat-sangat. Tapi rezeki hartanya, MashaAllah! 

Ada orang, anaknya ramai, tapi hartanya kurang sedikit. Harta cukup-cukup kalau tidak kurang. Anaknya baik-baik, rajin belajar.  

Ada orang, hartanya mewah. Dapat anak beberapa, tapi ada yang tidak sempurna. Ada yang downsyndrome, autistic, berpenyakit kronik. Hari-hari sungguh mencabar, kesabaran sangatlah tinggi.  

Ada orang, kahwin muda, dapat anak comel-comel, sempurna. Suami baik. Kewangan ok. Tapi ibu pula konflik kerana kurang matang untuk menjadi ibu sehinga anak-anak menjadi mangsa amarah dan sedih ibu. Nak kejar ‘freedom’, nak kejar karier. 

Ada orang, isterinya cantik, anak2 comel sempurna, masalah kewangan pun tak ada tapi suami pula bermain kayu tiga.

Ada orang, suami-isteri loving. Anak comel-comel. Rezeki duit mencurah-curah. Sempurna semua. Tapi keluarga berpecah-belah.  

Nampak tak point disini? 

Point saya, belajar bersyukur. Jangan tengok apa yang kita tak ada, tengok apa yang kita ada. 

Sesuatu yang masih saya belajar. At 26, I have 2 beautiful children that I feel grateful for, but it’s not easy to beat the demon inside of me. The demon that longs for freedom and chasing worldly matters. To beat the demon that thinks my kids are obstacles to my life and dreams. One fine day, I will beat that demon but for now, I will keep fighting. 

How? By being grateful. Everyday.

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