Why I feel fat and My Addiction to Sugar
Weight issues is not new. Everyone has atleast know someone with weight issues. I’ve been dealing with weight issues for as long as I could remember.
Since I was only 12, I began to concern about my weight. I remember I was only 38kg back then and I thought I was fat. When I was 14 the heaviest weight I’ve been was 43kgs at 158cm (or 159cm?) and I thought I was fat. But when I look in the pictures, I was actually never fat. I must say that I’m impressed with Shen who’s very comfortable with herself.
Why do I feel fat
Usually, I feel fat when I’m depressed. When I’m feeling depressed, I tend to hate myself. I tend to blame myself for what happened. And I think, (after all these years) this whole fat thing is just an excuse. Just an excuse for me not to face the reality. Especially when I can’t find any other reason to put the blame on me.
For examples:
I can’t study because I’m fat and hence, I’m too depressed to study.
I’m too embarrassed to go to school because I’m fat.
I can’t go out today, I have nothing to wear. I’m fat.
I can’t be successful because I’m fat. Now, I’m off to kill myself.
I’m fat, I’m fat, I’m fat.
But you know what? I’m tired of it!
The truth is, I don’t really care if I’m fat. I don’t hate myself because I’m fat. I hate myself for eating excessively. There was one time, in my life, I’ve starved myself. Then about every 4 days, I binge. I’d never loose weight because starving actually lowers down your metabolism and the fact that you are starving, your body goes under starvation mode where it digests your muscles (remember: your heart is made of muscles!) and stores your food as fat immediately, just in case if your body doesn’t get food later. And binging is a desperate action made by your body to get nutritions.
I feel disgusted with myself if I ate excessively. It’s hard to eat 3 pieces of pizzas without feeling guilty afterwards. I thought, I’d be happier if I was skinny. but, boy was I wrong. I found out that I’m happier when I have control over what I’m eating.
Now, I’m proud to say that I’m pretty comfortable with myself. As long as I eat right and exercise, maintain a healthy lifestyle, I feel good. I don’t feel fat anymore *most of the times.* :)
me, at 45kgs, 2007. (I was slightly tanned because I was an athlete back in school.) 
I have A Sweet Tooth
I want to have a healthy lifestyle. But, here’s the problem; I have a sweet tooth. A super sweet one that needs to be satisfied every single day. It seems like I need to eat something sweet or I can’t sleep at night. I can’t resist chocolate and ice-cream. I think I’m addicted to them.
This is how I see the ice-cream. The ice-cream is actually seducing me! 
I’ve tried to take those at moderations. I’ve read somewhere that chocolate and ice-creams are supposed to be a treat food where I should only take them once a week or so. Not every f*cking day because those extra junks contribute to my weight gain. So now, I’m going to trash all my Chips More and Mars bars.
…after I ate them all 
Ok, fine. Trashing them is not a good idea since I ate them first and trash just the packagings. So, for a start, I should stop buying chocolates …If I could help it.
The picture above is just for you to drool over. mwahaha
So yeah, I will try my best to have them at moderations. *sigh*
Now, how about you? Do you feel fat? And, does anybody here addicted to certain foods? I hope I’m not the only person. :p
By the way, I’m not going to return the comments today because I’m fat. :))
p.s, Don’t say that I was anorexic in your comments. Thank you.
p.p.s, Well, actually I did loose weight. I lost 10kgs. but now, sadly, I’ve put on some weight since. LOL.
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32 Responses to “Why I feel fat and My Addiction to Sugar”
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I found your site on google blog search and read a few of your other posts. Keep up the good work. Just added your RSS feed to my feed reader. Look forward to reading more from you.
Karen Halls
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erm…you don’t look fat to me…
but less sugar will be a better idea. If you reach 20+, your body’s metabolism will slow down, and all those unused calories will be translated to fat.
:)
yip wt’s last blog post..Marathon is peanuts?
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i don’t feel fat. why should i feel fat? i’m not even fat. no matter how much i eat, my weight never exceeds 42kg. damn.
i like ice cream too. every time i stopped at a gas station, i’ll buy a Tropicana or Potong. i’ll never walk out of a supermarket w/o a sundae cone. and it sucks that sundae cone cost 5cent after the tax. damn.
still, no matter how much i eat, i’m still not fat. damn.
i have much more things to say. but i ain’t gonna, because i’m not fat. damn.
MK’s last blog post..Cara Nak Save Bookmarks Dalam Firefox dan Opera
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nice post but just don’t make this an an your entry in bulan puasa…. tak tahan iman nie…. ekekekek
rohaizad’s last blog post..By: admin
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Yip wt: thanks for reminding me. LOL.
MK: for a guy, that’s so skinny! you really should go to the doctor and seek for advice.
Rohaizad haha. yes! It’s working! mwahahaha
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Huhu…
I have a bad appetite…sangat malas nak makan. walaupun dah tue camni…cam kanak2 kecil …
elvinado’s last blog post..Say It Again - Marié Digby
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this is an issue for me because im a little fat(dont want to mention) but for you aisyah is not fat but ideal figure at your age. If you could eat some more till your weight get to 48kg you will be CHUBBY not fat.
mohd aidil’s last blog post..Binatang apa yang ditunggang?
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Actually, 43 kgs at 14 is not a fat at all. HAHA.
Same here, I don’t hate myself for being fat, I hate myself for eating excessively. It’s just too hard not to eat scrumptious foods. Not eating will make me go nuts. 
Hey, you don’t look fat at all! Swear, you look pretty sexy dear.
Ugh oh, I saw something scrumptious. Err. The last picture is so love. Ughhh! You’re making me hungry.
Ayiene’s last blog post..Happiness.
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wah, pinjam cadar kaler kuning.
Affuan’s last blog post..Orang tua tak guna!
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Seriously my dear, you are NOT FAT at all. You look hot! and I’m melting.. Haha..
Yes, you look great. Really. And 43kgs at 158cm is definitely not fat. In fact, you might be underweight. I calculated your BMI and it’s 17.2 which indicates underweight. Ahh.. jealousnye! 
I’m fat. Even though my BMI is still in normal range but… nevermind then. It’s too embarrassing. 
Who doesn’t love ice cream anyway. Haha.. I do love ice creams! I would be happy enough if someone can get me an ice cream on my birthday. Lol~ *coughs* my birthday *coughs* is in another 5 days.
Oh yeah, one more thing. Being on diet is not healthy at all. In fact, you will gain much more weight afterwards. Just like what you said. It’s so true! So people, don’t go on diet. The most important thing is to have a HEALTHY DIET and don’t starve yourself.
Mira’s last blog post..I despise smokers!
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saya adalah seorang yang ketagih Twisties Keju… ha ha ha.. Twisties lain x sedap..
Mohd Ismail’s last blog post..Apa itu kebahagian?
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girl yg chubby nampak kiut !! siyesly.
tp bukan yg over-chubby lah.
haha ^^
p/s: hey, nice bedroom !! :) iheart the wall^^
syuxx’s last blog post..Because of YOUtube
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You are not fat dear.. Please check with your doctor.. he will re-confirm to you.. just maintain an average of 45-50kg is good enough.. if you go above it, then you should start worry
Reena’s last blog post..What is in a stick of ciggie?
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Hehe, like what people have been saying, you don’t look fat at all!! I’m actually trying to gain some weight because I’m a couple of pounds underweight for my “perfect” weight for my height… LOL…
Hehe, I eat a lot of junk food too, but now I’m trying to eat healthy foods to balance that out. =P
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:-o gemuk ke?
okeyhh aje kan?
rileks ar,,.xde ar gemuk sangat~
ideal la tuh..
no pain no gain *tetiba merepekk
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What are you talking about love? You’re not fat at all. You’re beautiful with your current weight. When I’m depressed I feel fat as well. Most times when I’m depressed getting my hair dyed or nails done usually cheers me up.
I wish I can control my eating habits as well. I’m a lover of junk food and chocolates. I have KFC once of twice a week which is unhealthy. Ah, I wish I can stop it and eat healthy. I think what adds on to my weight is the amount of soda I drink. I’m addicted to it. We all have a sweet tooth, especially after having a meal, I must have a snicker bar or biscuits. :-P
Shen’s last blog post..A weight issue…
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The only thing that looks FAT to me is that FAT JUICY LOOKING STRAWBERRY..
*drool..
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i am 40kg at 19. its been 2 years. am i normal?
cake’s last blog post..Its.. hard.. to..
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Oh, it’s only last year when I first gave care to my fitness.
I was really thin 3 years ago, almost bones. X)
2 years ago, I gained weight by eating rice 2-3 times a day.
And last year, I gained 6 kilos for just freakin’ 3 months.
I was like, wth? so now I started working out and doing pilates here at home. X)
Claire’s last blog post..I am not unfair
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i don’t mind how many sweet i eat for a day. my sister’s a freak, before eating a certain kind of food.. she’ll ask me how calories are on it.
and good for you saying that you’re already comfortable with yourself. as long as you maintain being healthy, there’s nothing to worry about.
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I can eat anything I want without getting any extra kg coz my body is freakin’ IMBA! :))
But that worries me a lot coz I’m tall & skinny.
tk2’s last blog post..Why Japanese sucks at English
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i tink im pretty confident by the way i look, im 152cm and weight 46kg, even though i sometimes i wish loosing 2-3 kg will be good.. but i cant resist some of my fav food beside that i go hip hop dance once pr twice ina week who keep maintain my weight…
i remember i went on this pretty tight healthy diet last year when my weight reach 52kg (thats the heaviest weight of me) and i hate wearing my clothes unfit.. its kinda easy actually for me to lose or gain weight, its all depend on the power of will lmao
of chores you arent fat or anorexic… skinny yes…and thats pretty much make me jealous to you lmao
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hey..u are in perfect condition (based on your post,ms nina married). u are cute like this. :)
nUUr’s last blog post..Visit Kelantan 2008-Event Calendar
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woi gedik, youre anorexic. hahahahahaah
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i wonder, why do females always felt that they were fat.. but, actually they don’t.. but, those who are obese, don’t ever realise that they need to loose weight.. how meh? anyway.. i manage to maintain my weight, 50kg for the last 3 years.. ice-cream or pizza or wuteva food, haven’t affected me much so far.. hehe.. im happy with my self!!
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im 80+kg im fat and im not shy about it. gemuk bukan satu kekurangan. fat people are hard to kidnap!
p/s: i put ur bloglink at my blog can?
starwalker’s last blog post..Dua Dunia Satu Cinta
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salam……u not fat aisyah….dont ever2 think like that…..well…..ur pretty or what i can say….gorgeous…so……be proud of urself…..nobody is prefect…so…if u like eat ice-cream, chocolate or something that sweet…..just eat ok……i very loves to eat ice cream, chocolate and cakes> especially from secret recipe<…delicious
….me and secret recipe just liked best frenz eva…….hidup ini perlu diteruskn…..so…..BE PROUD WITH URSELF 
TREX’s last blog post..SICK
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TREX: thanks. oh, secret recipe. I love chocolate indulgence cake. heavenly chocolatey! hehe. and yeah, I’d never give up eating. in fact, i usually eat the most compared to my girl friends. LOL. and the reason why Im trying to reduce my sugar intake is for health’s sake. not for dieting or whatsoever.
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jangan risau la aisyah. belum menjangkau 90kg pun
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[…] So, then, by we went to OU. We got lost a bit (not really lost but we took the wrong path and ended up using a longer route, damn it!). The first shop that I saw was Nose and I could smell some pretty shoes in store and I knew that I just needed to take a peek. “Eat first!” says, Azima. Initially we wanted to eat at Burger’s King but I just didn’t feel like eating burgers so we ate at some Big Apple’s donuts instead. We ate at the the outermost table so that we can have a good look on some cute guys. Remember: our mission was to hunt for guys to hook up. Cute and hot guys. This is an impossible mission, definitely. Anyways, I ate 3 sinful donuts. Aisyah, remember this? […]
ketchup flavored cheetos.
my ultimate weakness. i would go for a 3km run only to drop by the store on the way back to grab a packet (or two) of those wickedly unhealthy munchies.
and it’s a vicious cycle. i eat em when i feel down or depressed, coz there’s nothing like food for instant gratification. kinda like a guaranteed failsafe pick me up, of course it’s only temporary. afterwards in time the calorie high wears off, making me feel like an insanely fat slob instead.
then to feel better i eat some more.
and repeat.
eating comfort food is psychological. we girls tend to turn to them in times of hormonal mood swings or stress.
at least that’s what i tell myself to justify all those bags of cheetos’ lol.
maddie’s last blog post..they’re stuck behind desks, reading big fat med books.
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[…] about this once again since this issue has plagued my entire life. Some time ago, Aisyah made a similar post and it’s no wonder that I have a sweet tooth as well. It’s not easy to resist a mouth watering […]