Hi, my name is Aisyah Rozi. This is my personal blog where I share my life experience, thoughts, ideas and occasionally, my projects. Recently, however, I share a lot about being a young mother. I'm also a YouTuber, so do checkout my channel! <3
Nov 23 2015

Gentle Birthing Class Experience

Last weekend I’ve started the gentle birthing class with AMANI. Our chosen educator is Diana Shuwardi, from Shah Alam. It was only the first 2 sessions, yet I’ve already learned so much, that it made me feel as if I am a first time mom.

We attended antenatal class at the hospital with our first, but this birthing class is so much detailed. Since it is personal class, I had the opportunity to ask questions until I am satisfied with the answer and truly understand the topic.

Birth ‘Training’

Among important things that I’ve learned, is birthing is like a marathon. It’s going to be painful but with rewarding ending. Do you join a marathon and not train for it? Of course not! That will be like booking a torture session for yourself! So, in order to do well in the marathon and be glorious at it, you will have to train for it. And that includes being physically and mentally ready for the marathon. You will need all the stamina, endurance and to endure through labour while still remain calm.

Starting now, my everyday routine will include ‘training’ in preparation of birth.

1. Exercise 3-4 times a week such as yoga or swimming.
2. Daily breathing practice and pregnancy exercise (squatting, the butterfly, pelvis tilt, etc)
3. Balanced nutrition as taught in class.
4. Positive birth affirmations for mental preparation. Practice labour positions.
5. Most importantly, prayers and Qur’an recitations.

Birthing Partner Role

The class is also teaching my husband to learn what are his roles during labour. I was surprised to find out his feelings. He said he felt helpless during labour. To me, during our first labour, I was grateful to have him by myself. Somehow I feel like the class is giving us the opportunity to share and speak up about our opinions during labour since both of us are being educated about it. So it is good that I also get to know about his opinion on a particular matter, it makes me feel that he is more involved. He is getting to his role as an important birhting partner rather than just a husband on companion duty (haha).

Now, having learned his duty, I realized there are so many ways a birthing partner can support and help me to go through labour. We are going to make a photocopy of his roles at different stages of labour and paste them on the walls in the room to so that we can read it everyday.

Birth Plan

What I like about the class, is making the birth plan. I had a birth plan for my first labour but some of it didn’t go quite as planned because my husband didn’t know what it meant. So, by making the birth plan together, he is going to be aware of it, and will be the enforcer and my representative for the times I won’t able to.

Understanding how to work with your body
Birthing is a natural processs. Your body knows how to give birth and your baby knows how to birthed. It is the mother who is clouded by fear, anxiety and lack of knowledge that’s interfering with the birthing process, that can result in poor progress, fetal distress and so on. So, what should we do?

Keep active, practice the positions to help labour process and relax.

All in all, I am so glad to attend the class. Labour should be a wonderful and joyous experience as it is a celebration to welcome a new baby into the world! It has made me look forward to my labour instead of fearing or being nervous about it. The only thing though, I just need to do all my ‘training’ in such a short time! InshaAllah, as long as I do it with discipline, it will be worth it.

Nov 19 2015

Handling an Agressive Toddler

Sara is 2 years old. 2 years and 19 days to be exact. She’s a well behaved girl with usual cheekiness and curiosity but never a “problematic” one.

A week ago, after our quick gateaway to Pangkor, she caught high fever. The fever went up to 40.3C, Alhamdulillah, she didn’t get febrile fit. Her doctor said she’s older now so her threshold is much higher.

Now, upon recovering, she had been really fussy. Sure, I understand, she’s probably feeling fatigue and still sore from the fever, so we put up with her fussiness and tried to be as gentle as possible.  The thing is her fussiness came with aggressive behavior. She started hitting and kicking both of us. Whenever we try to calm her down, she would hit us even more and cry to leave her alone. I tried telling her gently that hitting hurts mama and abah, but it seemed she chose to ignore it. The best bet we had was to distract her attention by reading her some books.

Being the mother, I knew something is not right, something is bothering her because she is usually gentle. Plus, we don’t believe in hitting.

So I offered her favorite teether several times a day and sometimes she took it. Okay, she has 4 teeth coming out all at the same time, so that’s probably it. We went her grandma’s house so that my mom could give her a massage. My mom said she is having a lot of wind everywhere in her body.

After that, her mood improved significantly, but not entirely.

She was still aggressive whenever she was fussing. If something is not right, she started hitting us. My husband has started to lose his patience but I told him we need to remain gentle until we find out what’s going on with her. I reminded him that this is not her usual behavior so we need to be careful on how we handle it because the last thing we want, is to make it worse.

It baffled us. So I asked around, and everybody around me said it’s because she’s going to get a sibling. While I don’t deny that, I don’t think she fully comprehend what it means to get a sibling. So to say something like that for a 2-year-old is quite simplistic thinking.

There must be deeper, underlying cause.

So, I looked up to google to see what the experts are saying. I was all ready to find a children phycologist to fix the problem. From my finding, it turns out toddlers her age want more independence and power, yet they are limited by their vocabs and capability.

I wanted to test this to see if it’s true.

Yesterday, I was very careful not to force doing her anything that she doesn’t want. I tried to respect her wishes and let her do whatever she wants.  She threw foods around for fun, instead of nagging at her, we showed her how to clean up the mess. She helped a bit and then moved on (something we need to work on). She insisted to watch ipad, I let her watch one song and then we negotiate for other entertainment. Then, she didn’t want to get out of the car, because she is tired and she wants to sleep in her car seat. So, we said we’ll give her a treat (Garret popcorn to be exact, lol) if she’s willing to sleep on the bed.

Guess what?

It worked! She stopped being aggressive altogether! She did fuss a little for milk in the middle of the night, but that’s it. No hitting, no aggressive behavior. She went to bed with no problem, and woke up in a fairly good mood. Alhamdulillah.

Let’s recap how we handled agressive behaviour. 

1. Respond gently. Tell her hitting hurts and it’s not okay. Always remain calm, and if she vocal, ask her what she wants by guessing a few things. She may point or stop crying when you guessed something right. Don’t try to ask a toddler what they want when they are mad, they wouldn’t know how to answer.

2. Be more observant and attentive to her behaviour.  Try to think of any triggers. Is there any changes in her life or daily routine recently? or;

3. Consider where could she have learned such behaviour (daycare, tv shows, etc) and if possible, fix it.

4. Once I think I might know the underlying cause, work towards it.

Parenting is a path of a crazy roller coaster ride. Once we figured things out and everything is okay, things just flip and turn around and leave you hanging again. It is just all the transitions and phases of a child, on top of us trying to keep things together. The key is, like my husband like to remind me, to always celebrate the small victories and worry tomorrow’s problem, tomorrow. At the end of the day, we need to cherish the moment, because our children is not going to be little for long. Sara is a living proof, she is 2 years now and I barely felt the 2 years gone by.

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Sara wanted to wear baju kurung instead of her pyjmas. Ok darling, as long as you are not naked.

Nov 12 2015

Introduction to Gentle Birthing

Time has been so hectic, a lot of things has happened and I am just lousy at fitting a time to blog.

Being a working mom, the disadvantage is definitely time. You only have a few hours after work to get your cooking, cleaning and laundry done. On top of that your child needs your attention and Sara being very active, is not the kind of kid that goes to bed easily. So, despite all the bedtime routine, she still needs some work to get her to bed soundly.

Now, I am 29 weeks pregnant (Alhamdulillah). Yep, entering my third trimester now of my second pregnancy. See, how time flies?

I have quite a different pregnancy for this one than my first, Alhamdulillah. If you are wondering, it is another girl. But this this pregnancy is so much easier and smoother. I didn’t have much morning sickness. And emotional wise, quite stable -until entering this 3rd trimester, I have been feeling a little more emotional. Lets save that topic for later shall we?

I have been ignoring the fact that I am pregnant and put off planning the birth a lot later. Then I realized, as I am choosing the hospital that this time around I want to opt for no epidural.

I thought my first labour was wonderful. (my labour entry) I had epidural, I didn’t endure the true pain of childbirth, my daughter came out safely without vacuum or forceps. The nurses were nothing but amazing. However, now looking back, there are a lot of things I would like to improve. Such as, not taking almost an hour to push. I would say the culprit was epidural as I didn’t feel any pain or urge to push, I was pretty much pushing blindly.

Next, perineal tear was horrible. Until now I shudder at thinking about the tear. I ended up with quite significant  tearing since I kept pushing the baby out wrongly.

Now that I have decided to not taking any epidural, I am getting worried about the labour pain. In fact, the fear was giving me nightmares or keeping me awake at night. Yes, it is to be expected. But I am not about to sit around and go through it like going to a marathon without training. I want to be prepared.

Alhamdulillah, out of the blue, I saw a poster on Gentle Birthing seminar on facebook. That’s when I started to read a little on gentle birthing. I am very happy to read wonderful labour stories that are drug-free yet remained smooth. Actually, I think it might be an answer to my prayer.

Having a supportive husband made me feel even luckier. When I asked him to attend the seminar, he immediately suggested to find the gentle birthing classes instead so that we can really learn. That’s when I found out that there are a few gentle birthing method such as Hypnobirth and Amani Birth. I chose Amani as I feel it resonates more to me.

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This is the Amani module sent by my chosen educator to me. Originally the class consists of 10 sessions, but I opted for personal coaching and asked for an intensive, compressed sessions into 5 since I’m already in third trimester. I hope I can really benefit from this class  and have the birthing experience I want. It is crucial as it will also affect the postpartum recovery period.

What is Gentle Birthing?

Obviously I am not the best person to explain, but in a nutshell, this is the concept:

Reading the positive birthing experience has inspired me and make me feel more positive towards labour, and now I can’t wait to attend the class! InshaAllah. :mrgreen:

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